Just when I start to feel calm about this whole mess, something happens and I feel down again. Usually that \"something\" is my husband saying or doing something to make me feel bad. Isn\'t it enough that he faked a \"depression\" while I was pregnant, gave up completely on our relationship without so much as a thank you, blamed the entire break up on me (even though I had no idea it was coming) and then abandoned me just 1 month after our second child was born. He just keeps on and on, every chance he gets to bring me down he takes it and I just want to be left alone. Its hard because I still miss and love him and sometimes still wait for the phone call or an I\'m sorry or a confession that he cheated on me (I think he may take that one to the grave). He continues to blame me for everything. Why can\'t he just leave me alone. He told me he didn\'t love me anymore and that I was controlling, and mean and not-supportive, and that he didn\'t want to fight for the relationship anymore because it wasn\'t worth it. So I left, the next morning I left our home with the kids and I went to my sister\'s house, I didn\'t know what else to do, I felt like I would have died in that house. I tried a few times to talk to him but everytime I just felt worse so I stopped talking to him and only communicated with him over email regarding the kids and visitation. I have left him alone now why doesn\'t he just leave me alone? I still love him but I am trying to learn to love me more and not let anyone destroy me the way he has tried to but it is hard and then when I do have to talk to him I just feel like I am wrong and selfish. I\'m so confused, I just want to know that I am ok and that I will be ok and just when I start to feel that way then here he comes. What is the deal? Anyone else feel this way, just like you need a sign to tell you that you\'re ok in the midst of the darkness, the pain, and the challenges of going through divorce?
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