My husband left me 3 months ago. And He DEVASTATED me! I couldnt sleep or eat for a month. And then it took another month to begin to accept that he had really left me. I found my strength and was getting to a point where I could really start to live for me and our kids. All the while I would be his devils advocate. I would make it a point to remind him of the horrible mistake he had made, and that we were worth a second chance. Well it turns out that the stronger and more determined I got, the more doubts he was starting to show. And the next thing I know he is staying at the house, and has been here for over 2 weeks now. Well I am here to say that this second chance is not what I was hoping for. It makes me more uncomfortable than I was when I thought he was never coming home again. Something is missing now. And it is the innocence, that has been lost now. I love him with every fiber of my being. I have not changed, he did when he left me. I want nothing more than to have him come home for good. But right now things just seem so weird. I also cannot get out of my mind that most "second chances" end up right back where we all are right now. I am not bouncing off the walls. And things shouldnt be the same. I am not looking for that. Our marriage should be different now. So many things have been said that cannot be ignored. I am scared. I thought I would be over the moon with happiness. And its just not the case. So with this second chance , I have to have my eyes wide open ,and make sure that I dont let my guard down for him to hurt me again. The man I have been married to for 13 years ..today. So even though I have been given this chance, I am not so sure it is going to be able to work. Because I am not the same person I was before. It is a sad strained feeling. I still love him soooo much..And with anything only time will tell.
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