It is all in your attitude.. you can't start a new relationship if

a) you refer to yourself as a divorced man.. you are a single man
b) you talk about your past relationships on your first 10 dates
c) you need to change your frame of reference

you need to continue to look and look and find a quality women who rocks your world..... dont' give up

nice one mycherub, cant beat that! The only thing I can think of from my perspective is that if a man was going through his divorce or just freshly out of one. I would be a little leary of being a rebound relationship

I think that you have to take your time to heal and put your own emotional baggage in order before dating, even if its in a casual manner. Dont try to rush things. I know (boy do I know!!!) how lonely and hungry for human contact we can get sometimes, but you have to be careful and just give it a little time when we are not hurting so much.

I had a similar problem with the first few people I tried to date. It wasn't until I was okay with the divorce and completely over my husband that men found me attractive again, it must have been the way I presented myself without even knowing it.

The other thing is, maybe it is the people you are trying to date; if you meet other divorced people or single moms they will understand you and accept your past more.

why the rush?..

anyhow.. go out .. meet a lot of nice pple. men and women.. circulate..join a gym.. a sports club.. a stamp collecting club.. whatever.. and remember. you are a Single man.

Divorce has such a stigma still.. I do understand that.
You are a Single Dad.

I think some women see a recently divorced man as a needy boy who hasn't dealt with their separation from their ex yet.
Give it time, make friends, don't go in for the kill or you will chase them away. Get some help to deal with past marriage baggage and to lift your self esteem., get strong and happy in yourself.

I dated a man who was separated and awaiting divorce to be final. He was a great man with alot to offer, though his talking about his ex on our first dates was a turn off. I finally told him how I felt about it and said it was more important for him to be with people he could talk about his ex w/ and heal and that was NOT in a healthy dating relationship (it was his highschool sweetheart he'd been married over 20 yrs). I told him I thought he was dating too soon, he said I wasnt' the first, that he dated someone 6 days (!) after she moved out, they ended because she didn't want to get serious. The guy wanted to rush into a commitment. I allowed myself to go out on lunch and dinner dates and to the park and on walks and stuff and I'm not real proud of that, it wasn't healthy for either of us, I myself was not ready for a relationship, but I liked the guy, he was attractive, I liked the attention and the friendship. He finally told me 6 months after this he wasn't going to date me any more and couldn't be my friend. I told him from the beginning my fear was that I'd lose a friend in the process (a pattern for me - I'd rather have a friend than an ex boyfriend, today I am a little more discerning hopefully). Within a year he was - remarried! His daughters who apparently couldn't stand staying with their mom moved in with her, I felt sorry for the family, like he chose a mate over his kids. Even today my current off & on is divorced and it's like, I still think he projects stuff meant directed to her onto me. There is definitely hope! I would date a divorced man, it depends on the people involved. I'm just not attracted to the rebound desperate type (though I settled for it as you can see). Anyway good luck and there are women out there who aren't going to put you down for your past as long as you are moving past that phase of your life outside of the dating arena (support group? counseling? friends who understand?). (just my opinion)

Let me explain myself. I am ok with the divorce and on the online dating the profiles ask if you are single, married, divorced, seperated, and etc... I have been able to get a date yet, due to the fact that I am getting a divorce. The divorce isn't my fault. Why should I have to wait eternity for a casual date. I am not looking for anything serious just someone to have an interest in me. Friends just don't give me what I am looking for. I am not rushing but, want what my ex has now. Why should I have to wait until people think I am ready. I want people to know my story. If I don't tell them then I would feel like I am hiding my past. I don't know how to get around talking about my past bc some do want the me to be honest with them. Then the truth scares them away.

I have not been able to get a date.... sorry about the misrepresentation

allen, many women choose not to date a man who isn't yet divorced. I'm sure I don't have to list all of the reasons here. Everyone has given you good advice.

A very wise person told me that we won't have ever have successful relationship with another person until we can successfully live with ourselves.

Please take this time to discover who you are. Learn to love yourself.

No one can complete themselves or fill the holes in our hearts with another person.

Once you find & truly love yourself, you will then have more friends & dates than you can imagine.

Nice Post Wistful. Very true. How do I know what I have to give If I dont know me.

My divorce could take up to another year. So, if women don't want to date me until it's final then I have a long time before I can really move on bc of this. My ex has a relationship and that doesn't seem fair to me. I lived this long with out companionship, affection, having that someone to care, etc..... What's a nother yr or two. Just frustrated that's all.

Allen I am sorry for your situation. I think having some companionship with someone else is important. My counselor recommended just casual dates to meet people. I don't think they have to be about a serious relationship. It is hard to feel like our spouses left us, and to not want some validation that we are still a person others would want to be with. I have not even wanted to venture there, because I am still too emotionally hurting from this whole process. You are young, this has to be so hard.

lynthegal- I don't want anything serious just some dates her and there to let me know that I still have a chance to fulfill my dreams of having tht family life one day.

First, is your divorce final? If not that could be a problem. Dating a seperated man is just like dating a married man.
If you are divorced already, you are just looking in the wrong places or have not met the right girls. I would date a divorced man. The only thing is that I like to know the story. Who left the relationship? and things like that. Just don't give up on love.