Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

11,669 Members
99,984 Posts
2 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

a personal struggle...need some support...

deleted_user
deleted_user
Not long after my STBX moved out, I discovered lumps in my breast. So a couple days before my 35th birthday, I was having mammograms and meeting with a surgeon. I now have the surgery to remove them scheduled for the 23rd. Well, they threw a glitch into it today. I apparently didn't make it very clear that I have an arythmia (which was diagnosed 5 years ago and they attributed it to severe anxiety). So They now want an EKG done. I told them, I will never have a normal EKG. Well, they want it. I know exactly what's going to happen. I'm gonna go tomorrow for my EKG. It's gonna be abnormal. I'm going to be at the heart doctor Thu or Fri for the whole realm of tests there! Now I'm going to have to take leave from work without pay cuz I'm nearly out of sick leave.

I'm seriously about to have a breakdown. I don't want to go thru this alone. I don't want to have this EKG alone. I'm scared to death, with the way everything has been going for me, that I'll go to the heart doctor and find I have a clogged artery or something stupid and then have to have heart surgery. I'm absolutely terrified about going thru this alone. I know, I'm not a very positive right now. I just want to throw a fit. Talk about feeling like your STBX has a great life and left you with a pile of crap....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dear AmiD

I will pray for you. I too struggle with have no "next of kin". I get asthma attacks about 5 times a year and yes I have no one to put on that form. I have started asking if they want my divorce lawyers name and number? I have Reiki Level I and II and I will send you distant Reiki. Don't break down... believev in yourself. USe visualization techniques that will allow you to visualizae your body getting itself healthy. Look for an ionic detox foot bath centre in your area....... all the best... hope this helps.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's so hard being alone for things like this. Is there a friend of family member who can go with you for support? You're in my prayers. Things will be ok. Big hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are not as alone as you think. We may not be able to stand there and physically hold your hand through this, but we are here for you. We will be praying and sending supportive energy to you every step of the way.

Everything happens for a reason. Even things that we see as bad, are challenges that help us to be stronger, better people. You are bound to meet other people along the way that can help you and that you can help. Who knows, maybe after this experience you'll become and advocate for cancer research or start a support group for people going through this alone.

We are here for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Call your local American Cancer Society chapter. They may have someone who is willing and able to go with you and hold your hand through all this. Most likely they will have been through this before themselves. I have. Mine turn out just to be a cyst but the fear was there. My stbx was out to sea at the time and it was my priest that pointed me to the the Cancer society. They did not have a ready made list but they found a person to go with me.Haveing a hand to hold was priceless. I now do it for others. Good luck and know that all my prayers are with you. Love from the Chosen Frozen (Canada)
deleted_user
deleted_user
AmiD - My worst fear when they found my lumps the first time was not so much being alone when they did the surgery. It was 2 weeks later when I got the results. That was really the worst. I didn't open the envelope for 2 days. My daughter was with me when I did.
Try not to worry about the EKG. It's not that bad. It's probably more for your safety than anything else. Be glad they are being cautious, if there is a problem it's better to know ahead of time then find it out when you're in surgery out cold! And YOu're not alone - We are all pulling for you! Huggs and prayers!
coffee
deleted_user
deleted_user
My thoughts are with you. Your right to say the cardiac workup is something you'll have to go through. I understand it seems so unfair we have it all on our shoulders while the other is half is leading the life. Good Luck and stay strong even when you don't think you can. My savior is I work as a nurse at a childrens hospital and always need to remind myself I could be a mother of a dying child. I know that sound awful but its reality
deleted_user
deleted_user
You guys are all so awesome. Thank you so much for all your kind words and support!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
That's what we're here for!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ami you will remain in my prayers. Don't go through this alone. call someone and tell them you need them. I'm sure your mom would feel bad if she knew you were afraid & she couldn't be there to hold your hand.
deleted_user
deleted_user
AmiD, stay strong. I know this must be an especially difficult time in your life, but in the short time I've been on this board, I have felt a tremendous amount of support. Just know that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and whatever happens, you have people who are here. You are a strong woman.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just wondering if you already see a cardiologist on a regular basis because of the arrhythmia? If so, they should be able to determine without redoing all the tests whether or not the surgery is safe. Even your regular doctor if they know your history and health well enough should be able to give the okay. If you don't have a doctor who you see regularly, you should get one and stick with them. The surgeon doesn't know your history well enough to want to take the risk. They need a doctor to say yes her EKG is abnormal but she's okay for surgery. You're too young for clogged arteries, you'll be fine. I'll keep you in my prayer's. Take some deep breaths and do something relaxing for yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, Ami -- do try to relax. We are here, and we care. You'll be surrounded by an invisible cyberweb of support when you go.

And do try to reframe your thoughts, for your peace of mind. They're cycling into a "catastrophe" frame without need. If you have a Xanax to take, now is probably a good time for it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel for you. I am sending out a prayer for you and hope things will turn around. Just remember that good things are out there waiting for you. Be strong and things have a way of working themselves out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dear Ami

I have a crazy idea ( and don't anyone get me booted off is this is against the rules of this board... too long to read them all) can you set up a p.o. box or give us your local church address so we can send you poems, teddy bears, angels and cherubs .... so you feel loved and cared for by us... the stbx community.

I prayed and sent you Reiki today. God bless.
opk
opk
Ami...I'm so sorry...what an awful thing to have to endure...everyone's right; its probably minor, benign, easily treatable...but that's easier typed by others than beleived by you I know. Be strong, and beg, borrow or steal (well maybe not steal) a hand to hold or someone to keep you company for your appointments. Can you take vacation or personal time, or maybe talk to your boss and get an advance on sick time for next year, or maybe work a Saturday or something to make it up? Best wishes from me...I'll be thinkin' of ya.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • traceysmith

    Getting immune system removed

    Posted by: traceysmith
    Last Reply: MsADSF
    3
    I have had Ttp twice this year I'm 48 my doc said the next time Ttp happens they will take my immune system. Has anyone had this done? Does it work ? What other problems do u get?
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: mlr0853
    7955
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??