I am sitting here today and I haven't had a drink in 3 days. YES! I made it through a Friday night without getting hammered! I am proud of myself! I went out with a friend who is also going through a rough breakup with one of my friends. While I watched her down Presidente Margarita's I went through the equivalent amount of ice'd tea. Through talking to her my ex came up multiple times and it was like an instant roller coaster. One second I am saying I hate him and want to hurt him back like he hurt me, the next second I'm saying I love him and miss him. But then it hit me, never once through the conversation did I say I wanted him back! So why the roller coaster, why allow myself to feel the love and missing? I know I don't want him back around. I know he is not good for me, I know that the thought of him makes my stomach turn in a gut wrenching painful way that almost makes me want to puke. Why did I wake up instantly this morning to see if he texted or something? I don't get this at all. It really makes no sense!
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