My parents divorced when I was 14, I wasn't opposed to the idea and can't say that I honestly think it was a mistake. Sometimes I find myself feeling guilty even though I know full well the decisions my parents made were their own. My mom filed for a divorce after I told him that my mom was staying out all hours of the night bar hopping when he was out of town. When I would ask her where she was I would get one story and she would tell my dad another. I told my dad all of this and he came home early once to discover her at the bar dancing with another guy, he told her of his suspicions and she didn't exactly deny it. Well the divorce went through quickly and before it was ever final she had another man in her life..not my dad. I was mad at her but used it to my advantage. Now my mom is single and runs the bars like shes the one who is 20. My dad on the other hand got remarried and is very happy and I hope that I will marry and be as happy as my dad and step mom are. I feel guilty because I want my mom to be happy to and I also wish the love that I long to have one day would be that modeled by my biological parents, but their luv was anything but something to desire. I love my mom and want her to be happy and I feel guilty that I love my step mom so much as well because she makes my dad happy... Am I wrong to feel this way?? I know it hurts me when I imagine how miserable my mom really is and knowing she puts on a front to make it easier for me.. I am alone in this feeling and have no siblings to share this with... I don't know how to feel!
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