I did it- want the same feeling again with someone before I go down that road again.

Good for you! I agree being intimate is not something I am emotionally ready to undertake. Plus, I know there is a piece of paper that says
"it's ok now" but I am having a hard time understanding why a court can tell me the promise I made doesn't apply anymore.

However, does that mean no more rub downs?

I'm not even ready to date yet! LOL! But I'm with you Savery, I've made a pledge to myself to not be intimate with anyone.

You guy's are scaring the hell out of me. Does this mean you have lost all trust and hope?

Nookie is good, WAY TOO GOOD!

The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing and expecting different results!

IF I ever get into another relationship, I'm going about it differently this time. Sex can really skew a person's judgement!

No, I have hope that I am enough--by myself. I trust that I am going to be OK--even happy.

And if/when somebody comes into my life that is loving and special. I will have my whole self to give to him. Little old fashioned--buy hey "I yam what I yam"

This concept can apply to all of us, whether we had a breakup or divorce.

This is a conscious decision I have come to recently and so far have been able to adhere to. At times, it has not been easy, but it is a boundary I am determined not to cross until I am ready. Will I continue to be tested. Yup!

Life constantly throws us challenges, it is how we deal with them that defines us. I am trying to define myself in new and improved ways. My self worth is more important than physical gratification. The next time I become intimate, it will be for all the right reasons.

Thanks for the discussion.

Why just intercourse?I would feel guilty doing any sexual activity outside of marriage.Don't get me wrong, I made that mistake once and don't want to again.I think the wedding night could be so much more special and the marriage just that much better.

I think its just important to set new standards or boundaries for yourself, whatever they might be and stick to them as best as possible. I feel its all part of attaining control over your life and the way you want things to unfold for your future.

It falls under learning from the past. I think its a very good thing and I think we all do it, to some degree.

Aqua. Exactly.My good friend and i discussed this over the weekend.We both are waiting.

For me personally it IS about doing things the "right" way.Heck..every relationship i have entered started off "physical".NONE of them lasted.I'm not saying that people can elect to have "relations" and that if they do it won't work.It could.But i feel like waiting employs that i am concentrating on loving myself first.

Outside of any religious or moral beliefs(which mine does play a part with)at the minimum it is or can be disastrous to a healthy relationship(in my exp).

If Absence makes the heart grow fonder than perhaps Abstinence can make the heart ponder...and that is good.Less likely to make choices based on "feelings" derived from emotions easily mixed by giving your body to another person.

Sorry guys, I am with bamadad... NO WAY I am giving up sex... way too much fun!

I'm right there with you Savery!

Me too, me too! I think it will make us stronger people and pray I will get a differant result by trying this new approach!

Mark..I totally respect your choice.I agree..sex is FUN.Never said it wasn't fun..but so are alot of other things.It's just a personal choice based on personal beliefs.

The less you have of something..the more valuable it becomes.My prayer is that when the time comes the committment and sacrifices i have made for the next Mrs Savery will make me more valuable in her eyes and she more valuable in mine!

Mark, god only knows I love sex just as much as anyone else and do not plan to stop comcpletely, just setting boundaries as to how far I am willing to go for now. I know I would fail if I didn't allow myself some sexual satisfaction, I am human after all. It is no differant than going on a diet... you can't take away all sweets or comfort foods or you will be destined to fail.

I respect your choice, to each his own. Who knows how long I will be able to endure, but I am at least going to make the effort...for me. An important first step for me. That is all that is important for me at this point in time.