i never believed in love. ever. i thought it was so stupid and there was no way it could be real. . . but then i met him and fell completely in love. we talked about marriage, and planned on spending the rest of our lives together. i know "i'm too young to know" but to us, it was the real thing. but then we just started fighting all the time. . . i thought for sure it would be ok because we were in love, and i just knew that that would be enough to make things work in the end. but i was wrong, apparently, and we broke up. now it's 6 months later, and i'm still crying over him. he still has the completely ability to break my heart all over again. i know we just don't work out anymore, bc even as friends we fight too much. but i can't help but love him. i've tried dating, but i just find any tiny thing wrong with the person and make it this big deal and then decide i cant see them anymore. i know that isnt fair to anyone, but i cant help it. i feel ruined. . i feel like i won't be entirely happy again. i never want to be in love again, i just want to focus on my sociology and humanitarianism, and forget about love. but at the same time, i really want to feel that deep, mutual love again. i'm just so scared and i can't get over him. i've always been really good at getting over relationships, so i really don't know how to do this.
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