You really have to get an attorney. I legally could have left when he moved out and no formal papers were filed. Once the papers were filed it has to be approved.

I have 50/50 placement with my ex and now she moved 40 minutes away. She has been taking them to school here on her weeks but has threatened to transfer them without my input. She later found out she can't without a court hearing. Winter is here and soon will the horrific weather so I know 50/50 will soon turn into primary placement for one of us. Solongbye is right - contact an attorney to see what your options are and what is best for the children.

i have an attorney and she says DO NOT agree to 50/50 joint custody. Its confusing and inconsistent for the children. besides doesnt he pay little to no support with 50/50 or less nayway?

its not going to work if i decide to go home to berlin,ct. its 30 minutes away. they'd be in different school system.

what to do?

I guess you have two options. Stay where you are and try to make 50/50 work - if possible - or move and ask for support. Just remember that your attorney works for you. You need to make the decision that is best for you. She is there to help with your wishes, inform you of the law and give you advice. Only you know what is best for the children.

How could 50/50 be bad for the kids? To see both their parents?? I think it is much more difficult but if you love your kids it is worth the effort. I drive hours each week making sure they see their father and they have a great bond and are going to be better in the long run for it. Just my two cents.

what is your plan that you drive to be sure they see their dad. i am not saying i dont want them to see him. not at all. he is a pretty good dad. no abuse of any kind. but. i dont want to be screwed out of what is owed me etither. i am a cafe worker and i have summers etc off. and he of course, doesnt , he needs to support us thruough the entire year. dont you agree

I'd really see a lawyer on this one. My STBX wants 50-50 and my attorney already told me that no judge that she knows of would ever agree to this. It is not healthy for the kids -- at least mine who are all still very young. To prove the point, my attorney set up a meeting with an expert child psycholgist that we both have to see together. We're going to work out another arrangement whereby he's getting a lot more time with them, but in the form of vacation time, months with 5 weekends, school holidays, etc. In the end, it will be more like 35-65 or 40-60, but with the kids in one home during the school week. The only thing I've ever seen where kids can do the 50-50 split successfully is with high school and older children. Younger kids seem to not fair so well. Have you read Mom's House Dad's House? There are some good ideas there for parenting plans -- along with psychological experts saying which types of kids they're best suited for.

Here's my two cents: first, get a lawyer. In my case, I had full custody and he has very liberal visitation as he was an over the road driver at the time. Now he is home but still doesn't spend as much time with our daughter as he should but that is his choice and my daughter had abusive issues with him while she was younger that didn't come out until 2 years ago...so if she doesn't want to stay with him she doesn't have to. I do however, believe that they should have a father/daughter relationship and I won't step in that until he screws up again. He whines about having to help with school clothes and extras that she does so I am really trying to be open and tell her she needs to spend time with him when she can. He lives and hour away and comes here to spend 4 hrs twice a month with her (WOW) He recently remarried and his new wife whines if she doesn't get to do what she wants when they come and my daughter bitches about that!! What do I say?? I've seen the way his wife acts and I feel for my daughter but I can't say negetive things because no matter what, he is her father...So, get a lawyer and full custody and let him have reasonable visitation.

I work for a divorce lawyer. when decisions about custody, I always think of what is in the best interest of the children. It is hard at this emoitonal time to make that the focus.
If he is a good dad and she is a responsible grandma, why wouldnt that work. The tables may be turned at sometime when you may have an early morning job and will have to have someone else get the kids off to school, really no difference as long as the kids are safe.
If grandma is good to your kids, what a great opportunity for them to have time with her. I think it is all about motive.

In the mandatory co-parenting class that I was in on Monday, the family court judge said it really helps if the parents live close together because of the children. I have physical custody of our children but would move closer to stbx if he had a stable place right now so that our children could go 50/50 and be in the same school district. I think they need to see their father as much as possible and every other weekend just is not cutting it for them I think.

So I would make the sacrifice for my children b/c it would benefit them.

Currently we live about 30 minutes apart but we drop off/pick up at a neutral place.