The angry, vengeful "I want to castrate him" stage is so much more fun!

lol, yes!!!!

I can understand your bitterness after he left that way. If he thinks sex is all that matters than you are much better off without him.

Strive....it was sex with BOYS that was so much more fun....could you hold my hair while I puke...AGAIN!

Wow, I think, at least with myself, the absence I become more objective to the situation. Initially I felt -uindirectly responsible for a lot of things - with some distance and time I see things better - how much I overlooked, how many things he said was my fault -- but with some time ( not much) I see so much that had nothing to do with me - but rather they were his issues that he blamed on me. OK, I am not completely innocent, I contributed (note contributed -not fully responsible) for the breakdown of the marriage, but nowhere near at fault the way the stbx sees it. Time and space gave me some clarity to the reality that was really happening.

An old adage comes to mind. "... through rose-tinted glasses".
Also, if someone tells a lie often enough, it becomes the truth.
Or your ability to move into the acceptance phase (the last phase) of a shock required you to construct a different truth within you about him.
Whatever, do you feel lighter?

I was suprised how quickly all good feelings about my ex went away. They have never come back.

This is the rollercoaster that we are all on. I was just thinking about how good life was, then I went online and checked the account and saw some movement by her and not me, yet she has opened up new accounts. Now I'm back to the hating stage.

For 16 years I would have taken a bullet for her. I did all kinds of sweet little things and loved our life together....now we can't even be friends, the trust is gone and I feel like I lost my best friend sometimes. I only feel hurt and anger toward her for what she has done to me and the girls. I don't wish her evil but I also can not imaging having her back as a friend.

I too was madly in love with my stbx, but after all she had done to my children and I, love is not in the offering. I know what I do miss is the ideal of marriage with the woman, not the woman herself. When I got some distance away from her I realized what a selfish, spoiled brat I had married. She is upset now because she wont get to see the kids during the week of Thanksgiving. She is going to miss the kids??? I only get to be with them 4-6 days each month. Her only concern is for herself and not the children and their daddy. I could I have loved a person like that???

It took you that long??? hee hee I'm sorry, to laugh but I too got to the point that I said to myself, "If I met you today, I would have thought you were the biggest jerk, I don't like you"... I actually said it to him. He said people he meets thru work like him, of course they only see him for a limited time once a week so they can deal with it... Love or the thought of being in love makes you BLIND, or is that denial? Hmmm

I hear ya..I put up with his emotional and financial abuse for years.. so when he got me out of our home..I gave up. and have never looked back... astal la vista baby!.. guess what.. now he doesn't want to agree to the divorce? WTF?

I've been divorced for 9 full months now. I ran the gambit in eomtions. I finally let go about 3 months ago and realize that I am grateful to be divorced. I know it sounds strange but her filing for divorce is probably the nicest thing she ever did for me. I am past the anger stage and have moved into acceptance and indifference.

ENVY. My roller coaster ride is really just starting to make me sick! I am so envious of you guys in that next phase, of being so done "put a fork in me". I just hope I get there soon.
I would sure appreciate getting some time frames from you higher ranking divorce/separation warriors. How long since they declared no longer loving?
How you've been living elsewhere?
How long before your cheating spouse decided they wanted you back?
and just as a bonus, just how did your particularly venomous evil heartless cheating spouse who made you feel like the dirt at the end of there stick with there words try to make up how ever many months or years later? Because I just find it hard for the woman who is no longer the woman i married, would ever even start that road, after what she has done and said.
I my self was cheated on. 2 months ago, and just moved out 2 weeks ago, was just thinking I was doing better until my 6 year old boy broke down on me, then threw down the phone 3 days ago. So now I am back for the longest ride of the hatred coaster I have been on since the beginning 2 days and nights straight with no end in sight.
What is going on?

I really need to drop this hatred off somewhere