three years ago we relocated for my job. My wife is from another country. didnt know anyone and coudnt find a job. At the same time I was working a lot of hours, sometimes sleeping at the factory. My wife joined a gym. She is a former athlete and has always worked out.She gotinvolved with a dance grouplead by a man we all thought was gay.After a short period he statrted to call her often just to talk.He became her "best friend" who she could talk to about anything. Last year I became suspicious of him. I also noticed classic signs of infidelity. In addition her moods starting swinging, she became very combative and our relationship was non existent. She was constantly on edge, started chain smoking, drinking every night,had no appetite and losing weight. After hiring an investigator and doing a lot of digging I foundout that they had an affair for more than a year, meeting 2 or 3 times a week.but it had finished afewmonths before. After confrontaion she admitted the relationship but would not talk about it. She said that she doesn't know how it started. She thought he was gay.One night they were studying for a test at his apartment. He gave her some ice tea and began to massage her neck. He told her hoe great a dancer she was and how beautiful she was, which he did often but this time he told her that he was in love with her and started to take her clothes off. She said that she felt like she was in a dream.He sounded so great,she suddenly was extremely horny and he looked so sexy.His hands were like magic and the sex was unbelievable. I suspect that he put ecstasy in the drink. She found out later that he had taken pictures of her with his cell phone laying naked on the bed.He used them to keep her coming back. He changed and became controlling and abusive.Fact is the investigator found that she was victimized by a sociopath. I find it hard to believe that someone can control another to that extend. I have filed for divorce. She is now in therapy. I was told that she was in a bad way mentally. That she had been brainwashed, physically and mentally abused and is in a fragile mental condition. I am very confused over this.I don'tknow whethet to go ahead with the divorce or not. The therapist said that it was not her fault.That she loves me and divorce would be very damaging to her mental state right now. What do I do? Emotionally I want to hold the divorce.Intellectually I dont believe that she is not responsible for her actions.How can I ever trust her again?
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