Having a hell of a roller coaster day. Started ok, was really focused on the 14 weeks running program I started today, then ended up laughing on the phone with an old friend. So far so good, then I saw my mother, ended up in a fight that was necessary, I unloaded my heart to her, things I've been holding for years, we cried, then I was getting better and she announces that she heard from my ex about money issues she's handling for me. That sent me into a spiral of hurt, getting hit with the fact that he doesn't want me back (even if I don't want him back, it still hurts) and now my face has moved from yellow to orange.....ugh, someone get me off that damn roller coaster of emotion before I puke on the spectators...Just need some hugs from my loving DS friends.
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This is sort of a ramble:So I woke up miserable today. I have this loop in my thoughts and that loop keeps me in the negative or extreme positive thought process. There is an in-between but these days I feel like mostly I'm in the negative process. I can't stop having negative thoughts about my life. I keep going back and forth between virtuous and vicious cycles and its frustrating. ...