I haven't slept with my husband for about 2-3 months now, i've lost count. we have drifted so much apart, that i feel the need to call it quits. im not interested in couple counseling or anything like that. im afraid to leave because i know i will struggle on my own. but on the other hand i yearn for my freedom! the other day i was checking my phone bill, and under his number i saw that he has a phone number he makes calls late at night, and lasts about half an hour or so, and texts very often. i haven't worked much lately, because my work has been slow, so ive been barely making it with my bills, i was paying his truck and my car, and i told him he had to start paying his truck because honestly i didn't have money. he's response was, "well, you better figure out what you're going to do, call the car company so they can wait for the payment, or something" so i did, they were nice enough to wait for me. but wth is going on? why can't i be a grown up girl and say buddy that's it im gone see ya! of course i don't have the money to move out, that's one of my problems too. And i have this gut feeling he;s seeing someone else, he started playing coed soccer, practices get's home around 1030 at night, has stayed out on a few occasions out till 1230-130 am. ive had two dreams in a row, about another woman. so i feel something is up. i don't want to ask him, in a way i feel like i want him to get hooked, so i just can move on. i guess i just want another excuse.
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