I would fire your lawyer. Thats just unacceptable. As for meeting the stbx, thats up to you. If you don't want to do it, then don't.

Missie- if you can afford to do so, get a new atty. Not sure how far along you are in this process so you may have to petition the court to release your atty. If not than you need to make it very clear to your atty that he works for you, not the other way around. I am not sure here what you are not being unreasonable or unfair about, at this point. I am not sure but I am guessing the pick up location of "them" would maybe, possibly have to do with children??

Welllllll. hard o know from what you've said but it sounds to me like your attorney is a wanker too. He works for you. Where dos he get this attitude? Have you ignored his advice in the past and he's pissed?

Sorry on the typos eating and typing.

Sounds like your attorney is not looking out for your interests and you need to find someone who will,

We all get really pissed about these things....but is it an Indiana court your divorce is in?....They will look for you to be cooperative & reasonable. I totally agree sometimes it seems unreasonable to us....but if you have the judges I had in Indiana, it would be in your favor to say: I cooperated with his requests (even if they seem unreasonable to you). If you read the state guidelines on parenting time...right or wrong...they DO expect you 2 to share the travel expenses.

All this is difficult to swallow, I know. It's my nightmare too. Don't appear difficult to the courts. Read the guidelines. Indiana courts require me to let a wife-beater have visitation, and I have to share the travel costs as well. There are very specific guidelines your lawyer should have provided you. These guidelines even tell you if even numbered years give you these holidays, and odd numbered years give him those holidays. It's all written into law.

NOT RIGHT! But you can't appear uncooperative to the court.

OK well here's the problem with dumping the "wanker" attorney. More than likely he will have a balance due when you dump him...that balance has to be paid before a new attorney will really be willing to pick up your case...then the new attorney has to come up to speed...i.e. you'll be paying for the new attorney to "read" the file.

Much easier to either reach an agreement with the ex or explain to the attorney "YOU WORK FOR ME!", than to have to start from square one.

Not to demean the legal profession, but face it, they do make much more per hour than the average joe and well...to some extent aren't your children worth it?

In the future...make sure all agreements regarding the drop off and pick up are clear and concise.

In life we have to pick our battles...how important is this one?

I'm still not clear if your divorce is in Indiana courts, or Ohio courts.

I'm sure each state has specific guidelines. You need to be clear on those guidelines. Understand your responsibilities and rights as the custodial parent.

You certainly need to feel your attorney is working on your behalf, in your best interests. Whatever state the divorce is occurring in. Know the guidelines, and go from there. I would not be quick to fire an attorney I have invested money in, especially if they are on target. It means you pay them, and pay someone else to start it all over.

No, we don't always agree with the law, but unless you are in a unique position to change it...it's the law. Your lawyer has to stand by it, and advise you to stand by it.

If you have a crooked lawyer, by all means find another.

You asked for help, and I'm saying you need to know what you're dealing with in the way of state laws, before you fire your lawyer whom you have likely already paid, maybe owe more to, and start from the beginning paying another.

Is it worth it? Does the state law require you to share transportation costs? Choose your battles wisely. Divorce is so very ugly.

Very costly in many ways. Make very wise choices.

the divorce is happening in Indiana. the stbx is furious that he has to come for our children because he does not have the money to do it anymore,but thinks it is fine when I was the one going back and forth.

Bottom line is, what is best for the kids? If driving a little to pick them up helps you to get to them quicker, then what is the problem?

What exactly was the reason your ex needs your help with this? Is it something legit. How do you know it has to do with mismanagement of his time? Did something come up?

Again...what is in the best interest of the children?

he lied about the time off that he took. he told me that he had to use his personal time for hearings, but the hearings were between his lawyer, my lawyer, and the judge.he was never there for them. also, two weeks of vacation he has, but he blew it all taking the "roommate" on a holiday. the best thing for my children is what I am doing. I'll go pick them up and then take them halfway back so he doesn't lose this job. I've even gotten a birthday present for him because my son asked me to. If I do any more bending, I'll have to stretch first.

I see your point and why you're upset. You have no argument though on how he spends his vacation. Sounds like you need to just give in this time and tell him that in the future the two of you need to make pick up/drop off arrangements in advance so that it can fit with both of your schedules. I know it sucks to feel like the only one bending (I can completely relate). Don't lose sight of the best interests of your kids. Hang in there, hopefully it will get better.

Never meet the stbx alone. If you do, do it with the lawyers presence, so you you don't get into the "I said, you said". Tell him all communication can hapr by email alternativelly. Make sure it is all tracked, recorded. Protect your rights, including the right to silence. Don't jump into this type of offer. My 2 cents