My question concerns my 17 yr old son. He is the one that discovered his dad was having an affair. He told his father and his father said "its none of your business and I will tell your mom when I am ready". So, he kept it from me for 3mnths because he didn't want to hurt me. Obviously because of this he is very angry at his dad. The sad part is that his dad is not even trying to fix the hurt. He will casually ask if he wants to go surfing about every other weekend- but my son keeps turning him down. So he has quit trying. I have a 14 yr old that will go surfing with him. He also takes him to the skate park every other weekend or so. None of these things my older son does. Should I tell his father that he should be trying harder with my son. Should I remind him that as the adult in this situation that he should be the one making the effort. He should at least try and take my son some place that might interest him. I know that it hurts my 17 yr old that the 14 yr old has a relationship with my husband. As a mom I want to fix it, but know I can not force a relationship between either of them. Why does he not feel like he should try with the oldest. Why has he given up a relationship that may now be damaged forever. He has not seen or spoken to my eldest since the 4th of July. How can he do this to a child who is almost a man. A man that will still need his dad. Should I address this with their father or let it go. It is their relationship. I just can't believe you can throw a child away that you raised for 17yrs.
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