Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
How is that even though i know that the relationship that i had with my ex is over for good, and i know and he often reminds me that he does not care about me anymore.. How can i still care about him? Why cant i just realize the way things are now between us and accept them. I don't know why it still matters to me what he thinks of me, but it does. Just like yesterday we got into a fuss about something, and he said "you will never be able to be nice to anyone, you will try to be, but you never will." and for some reason im still thinking about what he said. I know that towards him i haven't always been nice and yeah i did alot of things wrong, but how can he say that i'm never going to be nice to any guy i date. And why does it matter to me what he thinks? I just feel so lost, so unhappy. I dont even know at this point what would make me happy. Any advice or comments would be helpful
thanks
thanks
deleted_user
I just read your profile. It can't be easy still living w/ him. Sometimes we lash out because we're hurting-you lash out at him-he lashes out at you. It's a defense mechanism. It's easier to be angry than feel the pain of the hurt you're going thru. Sometimes you're better off biting your tongue but only you can determine when. You do care what he thinks of you because you're still hurting. Try and remember all the good things about yourself and maybe even him. Try and keep yourself strong on the inside.
deleted_user
Because you need him to validate you and you don't trust yourself to know who you are for yourself. If you give yourself the opportunity to have a life without him you will come to learn a whole heap about yourself. You will learn that you don't need him and you will understand why you think you need him. There is no way he could have known you longer than you have known yourself. He was never inside of your mind thinking your thought and having you experiences. So why on earth would you give him the opportunity to pretend that he knows you better than you know yourself? Screw him. Get a life of your own.
deleted_user
Because god puts it in our hearts to love everyone... even those who hurt us and those that we hurt as well. I too struggle with this. Even after everything he has done, wierd enough i still love and care about him. I hate hearing anything about him cause then thats all i think about. We got so used to being a whole that we forget that we are individuals too. Its not bad to care about or care for our ex's reguarless of what ever happened in the relationship. For me it helps to not have him around or even hear about him so that I can keep my mind on me and my children. I pray that you can find strength in your situation....
deleted_user
Well, Megan. If he still lives there with you your not going to move on. It hurts for people to say things about you. My H text me alot of horrible things and I saved them on my phone and when I wanted to beg him to love me I would go back and re-read those messages to remind myself of why I should move on. We are still together and alot has changed since then, but the things he said still hurts. I think if you busy yourself by doing things you enjoy, you just might happen into your next relationship. Self confidence and happiness attacts. How did the exams go? You pass right? I know you studied hard.
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