My God I can't stop crying. I met with the lady to refinace the house in my name. It will cost me more per month than I am paying now. It is so overwhelming. He showed up. Happy, driving his bmw, charming as ever. He is happy to be free. He is happy to have his new life. He said maybe I should sell the house if I don't plan on staying long. He is so aloof. He doesn't care. He is out livin it up while I am dying inside. God this feels worse than death. I don't know what to do. I want to close all my facebook, myspace accounts. I don't want to think about him or be reminded of him. I hate that he gave up so long ago and now I have to deal with this all by myself. I called the church and a lady said a prayer with me...didn't help too much. Now I am in this house...kitty..me...and brandy (the drink). I am always so nice to him but I so want to tell him to fuck off. I am so sad, mad, scared, depressed...help..any words would help
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