I have been Seperated of 2 1/2 years.. hes in the military.. we were living abroad till he went to Iraq.. having some trouble before he went.. when he came in on leave in 06 he told me about the affair.. its wasnt the affair that shocked me but the length of time it had been going on.. over a year.. anyways.. i manage to make it through his leave.. he went back to Iraq.. we told out 2 daughters that we were seperating.. and we agreed that we would stay married for insurance purposes only.. this was only after he and his "lover" broke up.. we were going to divorce right a way.. but after they split.. we agreed for my medical situation we would stay married only on paper for the insurance.. I have am on a lot of medicaiton and cannot afford the expenses.. even now working.. if I take insurance out at my current job a couple of my meds are not covered and they are over $300 each.. He has recently informed me that now that he is in a new relationship (of 1 year) that he wants to go through with the paper work.. I dont know what to do..It was like splitting all over again.. I dont know why it is hitting me so hard.. I dont feel married to him.. so I dont understand why I am feeling this way.. I havent been able to be "happy" with the prospect of a new romatic relationship of my own.. I have had a couple relationships.. the first a few months after the initial seperation.. it was fun.. but not serious.. I am now in a some what serious relationship.. or at least it could be .. but I find myself unable to let myself be happy.. or truly commit to this man.. We have been talking for almost 6 months and it is to the point that it is make or break and I dont know what to do.. I am extremely confused.. with the new news of the divorce and this relationship I dont understand these feeling..maybe one day I will but for the time being I feel totaly lost..
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