Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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What to do

deleted_user
deleted_user
My wife left me 2 years ago after 1 year of marriage. She actualy left me on our 1st anniversary. I never got a reason from her she just said she doesn't feel like being married anymore. We were together for 4 years before we got married and we have a child together. I also raised her child as my stepson from 2 months to now almost 6 years old. It has been 2 years and I still think about her constantly. I drink a lot which I never did before and I am afraid to got o sleep because I always dream of her. We never got a chance to try and save our marriage because she fell in love with ine of my groomsmen. He is a good friend though and turned her down but that made her depressed and she ended up taking a whole bottle of wellbutrin and ended up in intensive care. This made my depression worse because after all of the years, the marriage, the kids she is willing to take her life for this guy she has known for a short time. I spent all thanksgiving in the hopsital taking care of her, taking her to the bathroom, feeding her and holdiong her puke bucket. Later that night my friend showed up and she kicked me out so she could be alone with him. I can't seem to get over her and I dont know what to do. I am severly depressed and I have a personality disorder that make me care about other people and not care for myself at all. I often have thoughts of suicide but I know I would never do it because I know how it would affect other people and I don't want to hurt anyone else. I am not a danger to myself so don't worry because there is no way I would ever do it. Thank you for letting me vent.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. It's amazing to me how people can hurt the ones they love so much. You are so brave for continueing to help her in her time of need. Be strong and take care of yourself, know what you deserve out of life.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow, you certainly have a lot on your plate right now. you have to let her go. as hard as it is, it's time to move on and make a happier life for yourself. this can't be any good for the children. they need one stable parent. being kicked out of that hospital room should tell you all you need to know. being around her is not going to be helpful to you at all. good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Im sorry you have to go thru this. I think its wonderful you were there to help her out, but thought it was horrible you got kicked out of the room. I know you love this woman dearly, and as hard as things are right now, you need to take care of you. My prayers are with you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am sorry for all the pain you are experiencing right now...continue to reach out...keep loved ones near...take care of yourself...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for the responses. I definately need the support.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Im bumping this cause I still need help.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sounds as though there have been dysfunction through your lifetime, starting with your family, there is not a person on this earth who is worthy enough for you to take your own life or to give up on life by abusing drugs, alcohol etc. Though moving on is hard and you will go through a lot of pain, that pain will eventually subside and when it does you will still be with us on this earth. You must now realize that this woman is not who is going to make you happy, you are young, handsome guy, she is not the only one who would see that. She is holding you back. You and your children are the priority now, forget about taking care of her, take care of you and the kids. Sometimes these issues are repeated from one generation to the next, stop the cycle. Move on with your life, step up and be the man that you are capable of being. Step out of the box and look in at the pure dysfunction of it all. A new wife who wants the best man, a woman who would try to commit suicide over a man knowing the children would grow up with no mother. She needs help and it is going to take more than you to "fix" her. Pick yourself up, this isn't going to kill you, it is going to hurt like hell, but you will survive, you will get stronger and you will love again. The road will be long, but you have your friends here who have been there and who have survived and who are willing to share in their experiences. Stay strong, stay healthy, love your children and love yourself, you will get through.
deleted_user
deleted_user
you are definitely on the right site for love, support, venting and receiving help to pick up the pieces no matter how slowly, no matter how long it takes. I'm so sorry for your pain and all that you are going thru...it's just NOT fair...BUT you have to remember who YOU are and make new goals for you. You have to take care of YOU right now, that should be your main focus, the rest will fall into place! HUGS!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am sorry you are in such pain. I wish there was something I could say that would make it easier for you to let her go. I know how hard this is. I have had no success with it so far either. But letting go and accepting your new reality is going to be the only thing that can get you out of this so that you can move on and be happy again. I cannot tell from your profile if you are in counselling or not. I find counselling helps. It gives you new perspectives on things and helps you feel better about yourself.
My counsellor has recommended a book, it is called "The language of Letting Go" by Melody Beatty. I have not read this book yet (and believe me, I should), but it is supposed to be really good.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks, I actually feel a little better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
BUMP

Any more advise. I sure could use it. I never knew this place existed so I have just been dealing with it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It sucks that you are going through this right now. I wish there was something we could all say to make the hurt go away, but the only thing that makes it better is time. You can get through this. Keep talking to friends, and journal your thoughts. DS has been great for me. Its nice to know we are not alone...a little sad to see how often this happens, but nice to be a part of this family.

Be strong, put down the beer, and type away!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this, first of all. You sound like you really would do anything for her, and she could care less. She doesn't deserve you...period. It took a good person to go to that hospital and take care of a person who treated you so badly and stomped on your heart, even when you were taking care of her. I hope you can someday move on. There is someone out there that is deserving of your love and affection waiting for you to find them. I hope you can move foward soon.

lots of hugs and prayers for you tonight.
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