I describe it as riding the roller coaster.
Day to day for me is different. Some days I'm so on it and happy and driven and others, I can barely get out of bed.

Or I'll have a crappy morning followed by an awesome afternoon.
I hope to even out with time.

oh, dear, it is just part of the "process" as far as I can figure, and I am figuring pretty good right now on that score -- the early weeks/months are just like that. The only thing that happens with seeming regularity fo everyone is that with time you get less and less of that. I know there were several times I thought "oh, I am good" only to be caught off-guard with the buckets of tears again. All I can say is it does get lessened, that pain, those tears, it just does, it's like it's part of the design of this whole stupid divorce thing.

Its going to hurt, for awhile, if you tell yourself otherwise, you would be lieing to yourself. Take comfort in the fact that feeling the pain is normal. It is a process, a long healing process, there are going to be bumps along the way. Just know that when you come out of it, you will be stronger, wise, and that much better of a person..

When it gets too rough.
Picture the pain as an ocean, and the actual emotions of pain i.e. sadness, depression, lonliness, all of those things are waves. Just allow the waves to come up on you and crash through you. Take it in doses, after each wave you will see the calm. This is an exercise I still use, though my ex doesnt hurt me, but other things in my life...

Rollercoaster is the best description goping, mm-hmm.

My emotions are also crazy. Even within one day I can go from feeling strong and clear to being weepy and so lonely. I know it is the hardest time in my life. I am just glad that we can support each other. Hang in there.

This is normal. It's all part of the grieving process. We all go through it...that's why we're all here...

3 weeks in is so new... no matter who you are. You will hurt. I like Lost's analogy about waves. It's like that.

I do understand Adrienne, I do understand. Sometimes it can get overwhelming and confusing when BAM, the tears come out of nowhere when we were feeling OK...I'm sorry you are crying, HUGS to you. I'll hold you up and support you during your tears and sadness. Sometimes after a good cry, we feel a sense of relief...I hope you do! There are better days ahead, and there is DS here to be with you during these times. HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS!

thanks guys...i'm glad i'm here...

When I was first left (for another woman) I was struck down with emotions. I HATED hearing everybody say that 'time will heal', just hated it. This was back in May of this year. It did take some time, but I was able to find strength I didn't know I had. These people, on this board, showed me what TRUE strength could accomplish. I decided that I could only control my own actions and reactions. I could not MAKE him stay, I could not MAKE him love me again, etc. BUT I could take a good long hard look at myself and what I found was that I had "ALLOWED" his bad treatment of me for way too long. I put up with way too much. I know NOW that I deserve better and, truth be told, I can't EVER imagine allowing that man back in my life in that capacity. NO WAY. You will get there. Just keep reaching out. We are here for you! Good luck.

wish...when i really THINK about how easy is was for him to just walk out, my MIND says I'm better off...but myheart aches for who he WAS...yes...rollercoaster...but crying does not make me feel better...only worse...like "i shouldn't let someone else make me cry"...i don't know...it's just...went from feeing so strong and confident, to weak and lonely...it's confusing

I agree it is a roller coaster. At first it has so many ups, downs and loops that you can't even figure out which way is up.
After a little more time passes the "ride" starts to level out and only has occasional dips. Hang on and know that the ups and downs are taking you closer to the end of the ride...where you can enjoy the rest of the sights. Corny, I know but, it helps to remember that this won't last forever.

Being blindsided is one of the worse feelings. I was blindsided as well. You will go from being angry to sad to angry again. It IS a rollercoaster ride from Hell.

Crying is good. It's healthy.
And it's you letting out the pain one fat plop at a time.

I've been separated for three months.
Two weeks ago, I just sat down on my kitchen floor and cried and cried.
I think I was doing dishes or something and WHAM... on the floor sobbing my guts out.
As another strong woman, I know it's hard for you to feel weak. Feeling your feelings is anything but weak.

YES!!!! PISSED that he just takes his clothes and leaves me with the pieces (including a new house WE just purchased 3 months ago) but sad that i never thought it would be this way...i have a memory from when we first started dating and we had gone out to eat...we both sat on the same side of the booth...we told each other or "vows" then...that we would ALWAYS sit on the same side of the booth...what happened!?!?!?!