
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I have been thinking a lot about love and what it is that makes us feel it for another person. I remember thinking when my children were babies, do I love them so much because I do so much for them, or do I do so much for them because I love them. I guess it is probably a combination of both. Why do we feel that connection with another person?? I remember meeting my husband at 20 and knowing after spending a few weeks around him that he was someone I could marry. Last night we talked about love and how he wishes he could feel that love for me again. Where did it go??? What happened? I still love him, or am I in love with the idea of marriage and forever?? He says I wasn't happy with him, I know I wasn't at times, who is happy with another person all the time. Anyway, what do you think about love???
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I think that is BS... love is so different for everyone, how can you define it... the 'falling in love' certianly does not feel the same as the 'being in love' part... I think he is looking for the falling part, because it is exciting, and new, and the adreneline gets pumping, etc.
Personally I think love is caring about them, wanted to be with them, concerned about them, etc. which is why I think I will always love my X on some level...
"Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward." Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies.
Love creates righteousness, or justice, here on earth. To make love is to make justice. As advocates and activists for justice know, loving involves struggle, resistance, risk. People working today on behalf of women, blacks, lesbians and gay men, the aging, the poor in this country and elsewhere know that making justice is not a warm, fuzzy experience. I think also that sexual lovers and good friends know that the most compelling relationships demand hard work, patience, and a willingness to endure tensions and anxiety in creating mutually empowering bonds.
For this reason loving involves commitment. We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called "love." Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity -- a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh."
~ Carter Heyward in Passion for Justice
Happiness is a state. We can chose to be happy or not. Every day we make choices...
if youlive a life of gratitute and acceptance you will soon learn to smell the roses, enjoy coffee with a friend, share a smile.... the sun does shine every day.. isnt that a miracle in itself? do you ever wonder about the miraculous things that happen every day.
have you ever been incapacitated? I have, I was in the hospital with 4 iv's in me and a catheter.....then day by day I would be weaned off an iv.. after a week they wanted to see if I could use the bathroom alone... they almost put another cather in permanent but my body started to function again...
let me tell you, we have many miracles to be thankful for every day..... trust me
you can chose to see your cup 1/2 full or 1/2 empty and anyone can change... you just need to read and grow and examine your life.
The love for the children we give birth to is in my opinion "pure unselfish love." I remember feeling so protective over my little babies and would give my life for them if I had to.
Would I give my life for a husband... I doubt it.
Lynthegal, give yourself and your ex space to move forward. My brother wife left him because he was such a terrible husband. He went out on her, etc, etc.
It's been 7 years since his divorce and last night my brother and I talked. He said he misses his ex wife so much and he wished he hadn't been such an ass. Every woman he meets now is compared to his ex and no one measures up.
His ex told him she loved him like a brother but nothing more. She gave him plenty of chances and he screwed up and he knows he goofed.
So, give your ex and your spouse plenty of space to grow. You will discover after a while you don't miss him because you are so busy living life. Who knows what he will think..... miss you because you have moved on?
With my husband, (or maybe stbx) it is more complex. I give but I want back, so am I really loving him? If you have expaectations of another, is it true, amazing love?
It is a bit confussing...I can love so purely and perhaps not so purely.
But, I do love LOVE. The idea of it, the comfort that comes from it.
Hmmmm..."All you need is love" - Beattles
I think I still love everyone I've ever loved, but who can spend all our time with everyone?
I think it has to be mutual; Shared Realities, and you can't make someone love you back.
When two sync up, it works; when it don't, it falters