Ok so I've had 2 'breakdowns' since he ended it, last night and when he actually dumped me. Other than that it's like I feel sad, but not as sad as I should be, although it does hurt I feel like somehow my body won't let the extent of it come out to protect me or something, because I know this isn't really true to how I'm feeling. I think I'm in some sort of shock and denial, but I'm so scared to let it out because I don't know how I'll get through it. I keep calling him, please don't say to stop because I am cutting back and in my own way it helps He will talk to me, but that just makes me realise how much I love him. I don't see how he could throw me away, I was a good girlfriend, I took care of him, fed him when he couldn't afford to, loved him no matter what, gave him space when he needed it and was there when he needed me. I'm also living on hope, because he's broken up with me in the past, and he's told me he will again and he can't help it and at the time he'll think it's for good. Now he's saying its 100% final but I don't know whether to believe this because he told me he'd say that!So it just makes no sense, any suggestions?