It was the reverse for me. My mind is completely intact..it was my ex that lost his.

I am 43 years old and did not do that. I am finally accepting the fact that the separation is actually happening because my stbx wants out. I guess it is just another phase in my life. It promises to be enlightening about myself.

I do, as much as possible anyway, get the frustration that you have.

IF my ex had lost his mind, walked out AND thought that he was going to take the kids with him...war would have broken out in SC.

Lets see- he quit his $140,000 job to become a pro bass fisherman-He worked for free for a comapany in trade for a thirty thousand dollar boat-he sold our home-lost our business-gambled with our bill money-I could go on-but who snapped???

Its always some form of abuse. As a chouvinest sometimes I think its simply horniness, but that is my bias I have to overcome. The word abuse works so well in our no fault system though. Its a shame that divorce can happen with no conscience of wrong. There will be many suprized at the pearly gates but that seems so distant compared to instant gratification. For political correctness, and fear of being tarred and feathered I risk giving you my very seldom acknowledged opinion. Most of the time I know woman only leave for the proper dignity and respect they all deserve 100%. My idle thoughts are garbage as any woman here will support.

I feel your pain RobNi...God Bless.

together 12+ years. flaked out on me 11th year into marriage, well a few years before that but I dealt with it and stayed. And yes, slowly she's trying to find a way to weasle her way back into good graces with the kids, friends and family, and then the courts, I feel the storm surge brewing. I have to keep myself braced and the sandbags out in front to avoid a flood...

I was in it Forever. I had made it through the Abuse. Through the law crap from the ExWife with her kids, that weren't his. Through the nasty meddling in-laws...through more crap than I care to think about.

I was still waiting for that "time" that he had always talked about.

Guess what, you only spend Time on something that you Love. No Love=No Time. I was "nothing Special".

He didn't want me. After 22 very sad and lonely years, he divorced me.

So, what IS IT about Men who can't see the Worth of a Woman who was there for half their lives...willing to do Anything for the marriage...and looks much Younger than They Do???

Yes, I look about 15 years younger than him-he is not in the best of health.

What a mess. I wanted him to Love Me. He never found much that interested him, where I was concerned.

That question really is a hurtful one. We don't all just walk away. Even though we might have had plenty of reason to...Cheating, Beating, Lying, Financial Crap...

Not here... my X has this thing where he needs a major life change every 10 years or so... new wife, new country, new job, etc...

I think that is an unfair comment. I might be 32, but we have been together for 13 years this past week and HE is the one who wants to leave. His reasoning is we were so young and he never got the chance to do whatever he wants. He doesn't want the responsibility of wife and children. So believe me when I say it is NOT all women.

Huh...is that what happened? Thanks for clearing that up.

you might want to go back and read again...you might find out the reasons are different then what your just assuming...just my 2 cents...

I have been thinking about all the tragedy I hear about in relationships. Some of it I think is the attitude of our society in general. On an individual level, I think so many people have voids inside that they seek to find what is missing through another person and when they find that they are still missing something they attribute it to the person they are with. I think we all have our personal hurt, the danger lies in using another person to try and fix it and then when it is not fixed the other person suffers when a lot of time I think it does not have a lot to do with them. I don't know, I have started looking at myself and realizing that I want very much to be okay with myself on my own. I do not want to be on an endless search for what I believe may be found right here inside me. If I can feel whole and complete on my own, I can love someone for the right reasons and not because I look to that person to complete me. I did not want my relationship to end, but now that it has, I realize that I hung on because I was afraid to be without him. He was not a nice guy and it is really sad that I would choose to be mistreated rather than deal with rejection, which in fact he did daily anyway.

I agree Rob...my stbx is 38, married 16 years and lost it!

Rob,
I think your post is a little mixture of sour grapes and wanting to feel as if women are to blame.... it's a two way street and if the two people involved aren't working towards the same goal you reach an impass

oh yeah...and anti-depressant prescription medications are typically involved.