Ok, with out boring you to death , let me just start out by saying, because of somethings that went on when I was growing up all I ever felt called to be was a "good" mommy(not that my mommy wasn't good, she did the best she could under her circumstances}, all I ever wanted was children. I had two miscarriages, and was told when I got pregnant with my son that if I didn't carry him I would have to have a hysterectomy........so long story short he was my miracle baby...lots of problems, but he was born. I knew from the beginning God had a specific plan for him, as he grew older in life he developed some addictions, (to the point where I had to turn him away at the door) Then the wreck happened and I was with him all the time, he was still my miracle baby. Way surpassed the flight surgeons expectations by staying alive and all the Doc's ect. Anyway he is still alive and recovering but here is the dilemma......... I personally don't have any anger with God or question, why the things that happened with my son happened (I feel like God had to give him a good hard slap in order to save his life and get him back on track for his mission). But my son does have a lot of confusion and anger about it, (well after all he is TBI :0) ) I am thankful that I can still talk to him, hug him, be with him. But I would ask that prayers continue for his recovery, both physically, mentally, but mostly spiritually. Because at this point he is very angry, and in his mind he doesn't understand the way he used to about Jesus being the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, so what he is thinking and saying right now is, "Look, if I had to choose my son's life (which he does have a young son that he is not allowed to see at this point) or all of us sinful SOB's--- everybody here would be going to hell. Because I would choose for my son to live" I am not sure how to answer that. And this is the little baby boy human I gave birth to , that all his growing up years only wanted to be a Baptist minister. Anyway, I can give advice for a lot of things especially if it is clinical, but I am looking for some advice, spiritually here. I have prayed a lot and still not gotten a clear answer. Maybe it is not my place to know what to say to him at this time, or maybe it is the place for someone here to impart some divine wisdom that God has laid upon your hearts. Sorry for whining about this, but thanks for listening, it helps. So few understand (and don't get me wrong I don't want the addicted son back, I just want any advice for how to help him understand where he is spiritually). Hope this makes sense, worked 1800-0600 yesterday then didn't sleep today, if it doesn't please let me know and I will clarify, thanks. Hugs, Kat
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