talk to the staff at the rehab and let them know the situation, ask them to set up a meeting with all that is involved. make sure they handle it, being strong with her and letting her know that she has to make him do this stuff on his own, she is to make sure he does it on his own. and for the cussing, let him know strongly that you dont like it neither does anyone else. reminding him strongly that it isnt the right way,,,,sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. and read the book,,,where is the mango princess. and give it to his mom. and be strong, you are a wonderful lady and it does take time. its been 15 months since daves accident and we are still getting through it, but every day i see alittle more of my dave,,,,many hugs and lots of luck with his mom

I'm sorry!! That sucks! With the bladder thing. Ask him alot during the day if he has to go, no matter what just take him. At night, I wear Depends, because when I have to go, I can't walk. Also, my mom is so religous, and I used to swear alot, and it drove her crazy! Now I just say, "beep", "beep", instead of the f and s words. It works for me.

OK, so you've got a tough person on your hands hampering rehabilitation. Best thing to do is check a large, teaching hospital--Hopkins, UMAB, or if you're close enough, Georgetown or GWU, and see if they have any research programs going on. The treatment is free and/or they pay you. I can get you the name of my doctor at GW (I lived in DC for 12 years) if you need it. Send me a note.

On the therapist end of it, his mom is totally sending him on the wrong path. It sounds like she needs some help. IS he entitled to servies, like social work?

As far as the cussing, I am not sure what to do about it. I have seen patients get really Pissed off about being corrected, others are OK. As far as the bladder training, every 2 hours, make sure he makes a trip there.

You got to remember he is like a child again. he has to relearn everything again. He needs to be corrected when he does something wrong. But found a way that won't make him angeryer. I was the same way. Also give him alot of praises too. That will make him feel good so he will try harder the next time.

You got to remember he is like a child again. he has to relearn everything again. He needs to be corrected when he does something wrong. But found a way that won't make him angeryer. I was the same way. Also give him alot of praises too. That will make him feel good so he will try harder the next time.

His mother want's to make me scream! Is his urine issue because he does not know when he needs to go or he just can't make it in time. How about a urinal? Just a thought.
The correcting the bad behavior is hard. I remember with my son's father it was like we were treating him like a child, but I guess that was the only way he would know that it was not OK to talk like that. Even though he did pre-accident :)

well his last day of therapy was today, and his mom isnt contesting it so i guess its gonna stop. he did go in the pool though- he took off like a shot and was able to walk in the water. and he was able to move his right arm too. so i think we are going to continue getting him in the therapeutic pool. he also accomplished the goal of being able ti transfer himself to and from bed, lie down and get back up. so all of that was good to see. but even at therapy his mother kept jumping in and doing things for him- pain in the ass! and the therapists have to keep asking her to stop. and she keeps blabbing about how shes getting paid by the state to take care of him now...i just wish she would realize thats not something to brag aboiut. getting paid to take care of your own child-thats just sad.

i've figured out that i really miss our intamicy. and i feel kind of like his mom has taken my place in his life. before him and i lived together and i was his everything. and now they live together and shes always blowing him kisses, planning his schedule, even picking his clothes. i wish i could just say that i am not comfortable with the fact that she is demeaning to my future husband. i mean before the accident they hated each other. she really doesnt deserve a second chance at being a mother. i remember when he was learning to feed himself, he had gotten kind of messy and she went to take a picture of him because she thought it wsd funny. and i flipped. and thats the kind of shit im talking about. him and i have always been closer than she's ever been to him and i feel like she's impinging on our relationship. tellinhg me theyre getting a family portrait done next week, but im not in it. too bad i'm the one that he considered to be his family for the past 7 years.

sorry guys i just had to get that out. i'm sorting through my feelings. and i swear she's trying to keep him dependent and in a child like state because she is mentally ill. i just pray that he will eventually become mentally and physically strong enough to push away from her.

All I can say is you are an angel in a tough situation. I'll keep you in my prayers!

Keep your chin up because his mom is only hurting herself because when everythings starts to settle down for him and he understands whats really going on. he is going to apricate you more My mom was the same way. so i understand what you going through. My partner had to go through the same thing. I heard things that my mom did or wanted to do I love my partner even more now for putting his foot down.My mom even repects him even more now because i have come so far.

In the beginning after my accident 3/26/06 I could not talk well and instead of saying words I would just start cursing. I think i did it because I was frustrated and couldnt find the right words to express myself. It has gotten better, but when I have trouble with my words I will go right back to cussing, alot and sometimes very loud.