i have permanent memory loss from all of the car accidents and all the time immediately surrounding them, which is "normal".
i also have pseudo permanent memory loss from much worse head injuries from when i was a kid. only snatches of it have come back, and in no particular order. if i see photos from back then i can recall. its like medicine, but mostly its blackness for everything before those accidents. when i do recall its like light in a tunnel and it illuminates even more memories. or like that lead thing a person wears for x-rays being lifted off. except with this its lifted off my brain. i feel happier and can think a zillion times clearer. i think that is the neuron connections coming together, and that is why its so many snatches happening in bunches.

I have severe long term memory loss! I don't even remember graduating college in 2000 or meeting my boyfriend and we've been together for over 3 and 1/2 years.

I have no memories of the month around the accident. It has been two years and I still have no recall of the events. It does not bother me.

Recently some one asked me me what year i graduated and I just stared blank; I could not remember. I talked with my husband about the dates; I am struggling to relearn the dates I graduated.

Also anything dealing numbers is hard. Math issues are lost. Recently I have had some success using the calculator and the phone. But oh it is so hard to find the numbers on the key pad.

I pray You are blessed with remembering or at least being able to be comforted in some way if the memories do not come back. What do you want to remember?

One of the things that we reinforce in therapy is getting information from loved ones and pictures. Putting together a scrap book/ notebook may stimulate your brain to put one picture with an event. Is there a cure? I dont know. I know that as a therapist's job we teach compensatory techniques as well as strategies to recall the long term events.

happichi-Thanks for responding. My sons father has the brain injury. The reason for my question is he has 2 children ages 16-8-4 and he does not remember any of them. That is what is the hardest for me. I can handle him not remembering me, but our son is devestaed by it.

For about 3 months after coming out my coma I didn't know none of my friends or family. After the person was around me and they started talking about the past. I still couldn't remember I was thinking about so hard that a day or two it started to come back to me. But so weird is I didn't remember my friends and family but I remembered everything about work. The doctors said because it was drilled in my brain. Thats the one memory i would have loved to forget.

Is your husband trying to re build the relationships with you and the kids?

It might help to talk to your husband about how the kids are effected and ways to help the kids cope. Kids love attention and time with their parents.

For a child not remembering him may make him feel unloved or cared for. He needs assurance he is loved by his father.

It can be hard for a tbi person to reach out of himself. We are struggling so hard to survive and heal.

I think one of the things i have observed about family's and couples that survive trauma is that the injured person verbalizes to their family that they need time to heal but they also interact with their family in positive ways.

My husband and I make a point to spend time together. He helps me catch up on my reading by reading to me. I go to events with him. I am usually just a body in a chair; but he likes me with him.

I also try to find others to help me; so my husband has some brakes from taking care of me.

Maybe as a family you can make new memories together. Make it a big deal to help the family make new memories. I bet the kids would love to do this.
Best wishes from the heart.

Hang in there.

happychi-
I guess our situation is going to be very difficult. My son and I live in another state than his father. We are no longer married but are extremely close friends.
His 2 younger children live in the same state and see him once a week. So they are working on building new memories.
Since we live 8 hours away we do not see him as often and it is very hard. Our 16 year old son is realizing that it may be very difficult to build any new memories or even a new relationship with us being so far away. I try to keep him encouraged but he is old enough to understand what is going on and what has REALLY happened. The other children are smaller and really do not understand.
Thank you so much for the encouraging words.
We are hanging in there, the best that we can.

Hello,
I have a very long history of head injury.My first at age 12 last age 37 ,these both tbi.I am now 44.
And yes I have memory lose . Short term memory is good for about 3 days and long is patchy at best.Yes triggers do help sometimes it's words, pictures, storys which act as triggers .These triggers can lead to a trail of memorys which can be connected or non related. These I write down and keep track as they do not always form a complete circle or time frame.Triggers can also be smells, sensations nurmerous other things.I was foggy this last tbi for about 6 years.Fog has lifted memorys are coming back even more. Lost no they were hidden til triggers can release them for me. I do hope you have the same fortune and they come back for you.

this injury will be stable in approx 2 years post accident as much as you will recover ? you will recover more after the two years but in very small amounts over a long time

READING THESE POSTS IS SORT OF CONFUSING. IT SEEMS LIKE WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT PROBLEMS WITH MEMORY. IT IS APARENT WE HAVE ALL HAD DIFFERENT TYPES OF HEAD INJURIES SO MAYBE THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE. I BELIEVE THAT DIFFERENT SECTIONS OF THE BRAIN ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR DIFFERENT MEMORIES AND THOUGHT PROCESSES. I HAVE AN ENORMOUS CAPACITY FOR LONG TERM MEMORIES(THE THINGS I WISH I COULD FORGET!!!)
ON THE OTHER SIDE I HAVE TO GO BACK AND FEEL MY TOOTHBRUSH TO SEE IF IT IS WET BECAUSE I WON'T REMEMBER ONE MINUTE LATER IF I BRUSHED MY TEETH OR NOT!! WHERE DID THIS LITTLE "I PROMISE TO BE NICE COME FROM? PERSONALLY, "I QUTEE" WANT TO "VENT" AND THAT SOMETIMES IS NOT SO NICE!!!!!!! WHO WROTE THAT? DOES IT COME UP UNDER EVERYONES COMMENt BOX? I HAVE NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE!! I HAVE A HEADACHE
AS I WRITE, THAT "3" PAIN KILLERS HAVE NOT AFFECTED AT ALL!!! BUT THE MAN WHO CAUSED MY INJURY IS SITTING IN PANAMA FLORIDA AS WE SPEAK WATCHING MY PRECIOUS GRANDAUGHTER PITCH IN THE "JUNIOR NATIONAL GIRLS SOFTBALL TOURNAMENT! grrrrrrrr!!!!I DON'T FEEL VERY NICE RIGHT NOW? WHOEVER IS ASKING ME TO BE NICE, SHOW YOURSELF PLEASE!!!! I DON'T FEEL NICE, SWEET OR LADYLIKE TODAY SO i GUESS I BETTER GET OFFLINE!!

It is too early to tell for hubby. It has been a little over 8 months since his injury. I do know that both his log and short term has been greatly effected and it seems to be getting worse.

MARY, WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME HOW YOUR HUSBAND WAS INJURED! I LOOKED BACK IN MY SAVED MAIL BUT I HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING AND I JUST "DON'T REMEMBER!"

"IMAGINE THAT!!!!

After a year the likelyhood of your hubby getting back the long term memorys is low but not all together gone.
Hypnotheropy and rapid eye movment are 2 ways that old memories can be recoverd.
I myself have a long term memory that makes people angry because i can remember the littlest of crappy details from 15 years ago.
My short term is very bad still 2 n 1/2 years after my injury I forget so much.It is very frustrating .
I Understand all memeory issues are hard to live with .
But i do feel in your hubby's case it would be so much harder !
forgetting your kids or a chunl of life altogehther would have to be about the worsed.
Try rapid eye with him it might just work.
All the best ,
daz

Hi,

It's been 21 months since my TBI. I was married for almost two years when it happened. I have no memory of falling in love (my first husband died, that I remember), my honeymoon or moving from NY to MD. I remember almost everything else (except for my times tables - that was a b'tch relearning)

I still have no "in love" feeling for my husband. I've tried, he won't give up, but I had to come to a decision. I can't live my life waiting to feel or remember. I decided to move on; with much guilt and remorse. kim