Brain Injury Support Group
Traumatic brain injury occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can result from a closed head injury or a penetrating head injury. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. Outcome can be anything from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. A coma can also affect a child's brain.
After 7 months of dealing with all the problems of the head trauma, my husband will today tell you that I have not been there for him. That I have been there to cook, clean, shower, etc. But not THERE for him. For the first 5 months, he was so angry that no matter what anyone had to say it made him angry. He today will tell you that everyone in the house makes to much noise and that it is only when he is trying to do something like watch TV or talk on the phone. He does not want even his sister and her family to come over because they are to loud. It doesn't matter what you do it isn't good enough for him. He has never been this type of person and I don't understand how he can be so mean to everyone. This is just the smallest of things. He is totally consumed with himself. This is the person that has always given to everyone else, like remodeling his mother's home just because it needed it and he paid for it, like building his sister's home and loaning her the money to finish it because she ran out of money, not to mention giving my daughter the wedding of her dreams without her doing anything except picking out a dress, cake and a type of flower.( He planned the rest of it as a surprise complete with engraved wine for gifts ) He was always there for the everyone and now he doesn't like anyone. If you didn't know him you could walk up and talk with him about anything and you would thank that he was fine, but any member of our family, well he has rude, mean remarks to say to them. It has gotten better over time but not much. If I have anything to discuss with him I have to talk in a calm soft voice or he flies off the handle. Please don't thank him a bad person for he was and sometimes (rarely) is the most gentle person. Before the accident we had the near perfect relationship and now it seems that he hates me and anything to do with me. I know that I can not possibly realize just what he is going thru, not to mention the headaches, sore spots on his head, aching muscles and joints and lost of memory, taste and smell. Does everyone go thru this? He is taking no meds(refuses to) He often says things wrong using the wrong words and then saying well I know what I mean, thats what counts. Help, I have finally gotten to a point that explaining to him that he is being cranky isn't working, now I just say it straight and if he gets mad, I walk away. I have never babied him, I have always tried to stay calm but it isn't working now. Help if you can. It is much better but I am worn out.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I also was like your man ,I didnt want to take any meds!but I suggest you both go to see you gp.Try get into see a neurologist if he hasnt seen one yet.I will also suggest he start a course of ssri and some pain meds asap.I understand what he is putting you thru and it is a credit to you and others that are trying to be by his side.without knowlege of what you are all facing you are behind to 8 ball to start.The best thing that happend to me was going to rehab!there I meet people that new and understood what i was going through.They understand what it is like to loose yourself in every way.I wish you both the best of luck ,you will both need luck commitment and patience as tbi will not just go away it will get better as timne goes on but he will be a changed man for the rest of his life.
Regards Daz
Also, meds help! The University of Washington just finished a study of prozac and citalopram and found many times doctors were not prescribing high enough doses to help patients. A friend of mine participated in the research and recently informed me of their findings. We increased the dosage for my husband a week ago and I can already see improvement. See if you can find a good doctor who will refer you to a neurologist and insist to your husband that he go and get on meds. He isn't thinking rationally himself and you may have to be forceful. He will thank you later. A healthy diet is also important and avoid artificial sweetners at all cost (caustic to the brain and destroy the mylan sheath) and refined sugar as much as possible. Honey is a good substitute. Take care of yourself too by eating well and getting enough sleep. Only being 7 months from the injury gives lots of room for improvement to come. Hang in there and know we are here for you if you need to vent.
It seems like he is floundering, brain injured cannot explain to you what the problem is, they think they are "fine", they don't know enough to identify issues but if it's pointed out it becomes a light-bulb moment of "wow - why couldn't I or why didn't I know that".
He's struggling with "daily stuff" without even having you identify what it all is at this point. Once he learns new techniques it will all start becoming easier to hear, understand, comprehend etc...
With your comment above about the TV and the noise... He cannot multi-task anymore, he either has right brain or frontal damage it also means he has short-term memory issues. What does that mean for you... ANY other sound in the room when you are talking to him or he wants to talk cannot be done with success unless there is complete silence. He will then get better over time but it is VERY difficult to hear sounds. ALL noises are amplified. Muli-tasking in its simpliest for is... Early on I could not even form a sentence or hear a single word if my speech therapist was typing on her keyboard. That was considered multi-tasking, hearing one thing as I was trying to do another.
Nor can he glance out the window if someone just threw a ball at the same time as hearing you. His attention span may only be 2 or 10 seconds, as soon as he glances away, is looking at a paper, eating, hearing a door slam or picking up a pen... it is once again considered multi-tasking... which means he may hear one half of the sentence but not the 3 words in between and not know how to respond.
This is incredibly frustrating... when more than one thing is happening in a room or someone is talking (such as his sister coming over) ALL sounds sound like as if you put your stereo on, in between two stations and can't understand what anybody is saying... he can only hear the loudest sound of them all... and ONLY if he can tune out the others (after long hours of training and practicing) so if someone is talking loud for 3 words and the other person is at equal sound, he can't hear either one, nor can he can he figure out enough of any one sentence to follow anything.
For further information I would also join the stroke group.