Abraham Lincoln once said that a man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.

I had a friend once whose baby was born blind; her doctor told her that either she could wrap Claire in cotton and bubble wrap and worry about her all her life, or she and her husband could teach her to be independent and live life. They chose to make her independent, and she grew into a fine happy young woman. The real problem was with people who saw them in the store or at church and tried to put her in bubble wrap -- or even worse, talked about her as if she was not there, about what a burden she would be all her life! I askd my friend why she did not punch those people in the nose, and she said you cannot punch everybody in the nose; you just have to be patient with them.

Prayer will help you do what is best for your baby; but blindness will not make him unhappy if his Mama is careful to allow him to be everything he is able to be. He will be just as happy as he makes up his mind to be.

Instead of thinking about how much he will suffer, maybe it will help if you think of all the opportunity he will have, opportunity he never would have had if you had given him up. And yes, I know and have heard of many more happy blind people. In fact, I venture to guess that he will be less troubled by it than you think. He never will have known anything else. He won't miss as much what he never knew.

I'm praying for you, that Jesus will help you through this difficult time, and that He will hold your son close and ease his pain and perhaps even heal his precious little eyes.

I am not blind myself but know quite a few blind people who I see a fair amount, ALL of them seem really happen and mix a lot and do ordinary things, they are just much cleverer than anyone else, they have to be. But really, they seem, and I honestly think they are, happy. There is so much help and support around, and he has your love...which is everything...Cathrynn X

I hope this helps in some small way. We adopted a baby 5 yrs. ago who was drug addicted. My poor baby went through 4 months of very painfull withdrawls. When the fetus is exposed to drugs they store it in their brown fat. And unlike adults, it takes at least 4 months to rid their systems of it. Our baby went through hell for 4 months. Today he is a happy, well adjusted little boy. If he remembers any of the pain I dont think it affects him because he so is loved. That is the advice that I give to you. Love really does heal all wounds.
Just love your little guy as best you can, and he will thrive.
My prayers are with you.

First of all i don't think you've made your son suffer in anyway, a large number of people belive it is difficult to deal with sight problems however i do feel i should point out that these are usually people who have contracted sight problems through thire life... as simple as it might sound your son will have these problems from birth and therefore will never have to adapte to them (which is what most people find difficult) he will never see it as a disabiltiy, more as a part of life, as i do, unless lead to beleive otherwise...you're doing the right thing and if you love your son and care about him you'll do what you believe to be right without second guessing yourself...

I was born completely blind, due to Rubella my mom had while she was pregnant with me.

Over time, the doctors did things to help regain some usable sight, before I could remember. Most people in this world, depend on their sight for everything, and because of that, run far away from people they don't understand

The truth of the matter, is being born blind, was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. It taught me, how to see people for who they really are on the inside.

It taught me, looks, age, race, disability don't matter when it comes to matters of the heart. It taught me how to be a good person, how to be a good husband that most women only see in their dreams, possibly a good father someday, and how to not let anyone get in the way of my dreams, no matter what they are.

I personally wish everyone could be blind for a day, just so they can understand what its like for us, to not take advantage of what we have in life. God gave me the greatest gift in the world when he took away my sight, and that was, a truely gifted insight that nobody else around me could ever have, and that is something NOBODY can ever take away from me.

lastly, being blind doesn't keep a person from getting anything in life.

I can't read print at all, not even large print, yet here I am typiing on a webpage, and taking online classes in college, with 60 credits 4 credits away from an Associates Degree in Computers.

Computers, or cooking, were my two passions in life, and I do both fairly well, better then most people. The point is, being blind doesn't stop him from doing anything in life. I can walk 10 miles away from home to work, and back, completely blindfolded if needs be. There is nothing a person without eyesight cannot do, only thing stopping you, is yourself. Never forget to tell your son that as he gets older.

Im visually impaired and was born with my condition. My mum wasnt told about my condition untill I was 5 when i started full time education. Ive had a few problems as a result from my visual impairment and my mum has had to fight a lot with education and doctors and took a lot from me as I had challenging behaviour and emotional difficulties as a direct result from frustration and learning to cope with my sight. When ever I have asked my mum if she would of still had me if she know bout my sight and after everything we have gone through she always says she would never change anything about me for the world. Having my sight and all the issues that went with it is what has made me to be the person I am now. I do everything everyone else does and dont really see myself any different and if someone tries to tell me I cant do something I will go and do it to prove them wrong. I went through secondary school, then A levels, then went onto uni and got a degree and now Im working full time as a team leader in a residential care home working with adults with learning disabilities and challenging behaviour. I was promoted twice to get to my current position and seriously enjoy my job. My mum could have given up on me but she stuck by me. I wont lie and say it has been easy gettin to where I am now but most the problems Ive found is people ignorence and lack of understand of my needs. As Ive got older Ive found educating people is the best way. Im really happy with my life and have learnt from past mistakes and learnt alot about myself. I wouldnt wanna be fully sighted because if I was I know I wouldnt be the person I am today. In fact I think I would probably extremely ignorent of peoples differences in the world.

I have a friend who is totally blind. She works full-time, owns her own home which she keeps immaculate with no help, and does beautiful crochet work. Your son can do every thing but drive. Get him some training now and good luck to you.

Actually this really hits home. My mother kept me to after loseing my sister. He is struggling but not suffering. You were in love thats why you did it. Just provide what you can to help him and he will make it.He is strong if he made it and his brother didn't.hugs to you I feel for you.

also i am VI loseing so much site and I can hand sew seriously the only thing he cant do if its only blindess is drive.

I attended the Indiana Blind School in Indianapolis, from 11 years old, thru my junior year of high school. I went to school with dozens of totally blind kids who had nothing, not even light perception.

My first VR counselor was completely blind, he made over $40,000 a year he told me, and had a Masters Degree in psychology.

I was born blind, then regained some of it later on in my life, now I am loosing it again due to Glaucoma, and frankly, it does not matter if I go completely blind, or not, because I can do anything I want to in this world rather I have eyesight or not.

The only thing totally blind people cannot do is drive, but they do have a Bioptic Driving program for the visually impaired.

I walk pretty much everywhere by myself. My mom raised me independant. I think its easier to deal with loss of eyesight when your a baby, then it is later on in a persons life. Later on in a persons life, they have to train themselves to remain independent, which takes years of training sometimes, but when your born like that, its kinda like that movie "daredevil" where that guy who is blind has super human powers. Of course, thats an exaggeration, but blind people actually DO get around that well. They can sense their world around them even better then people with 20/20, as they use their sense of hearing and sense of touch to know whats around them at all times. They are more alert to it then people with 20/20 are, so they are probably more independant then other people are, when you really think about it.

as I said, its harder to learn if a person is older and looes their sight, because once a peson reaches a certain age, they loose the sense of touch in their fingers to learn braille. I think its about 40 they start to loose their sense of touch.

The only troublesome part about being blind is, as I said, the driving issue, and other people discrimination against us. Most people just assume that just because a person is blind, they should have good hearing and a good sense of touch, but that isn't always true. If thats your only disability it is yeah, but alot of people have other disabilities on top of that, as I do, which makes living with a blindness, a longer process to learn, but not impossible, I don't believe anything is impossible if passionate enough about it.

teach him to never give up, teach him the importance of doing things on his own without your help. he may get frustrated at times, and because of that It may take him longer to learn his surroundings then you, but always let him do it on his own, but at the same time, always keep an eye on him too just in case like you would any other child, as he starts to learn he will become completely self efficient over time.

lastly, be open to the possibility of sending him to a Blind school, so he can properly learn how to use his remaining senses to their best potential. That is very important, because kids in public schools make fun of blind and visually impaired people, putting them down, so its better for him to be raised around people more like him, so he is able to make friends with other peers. It may mean he'll have to travel to another city during the week, but trust me, he will thank you for it in the end.

From my personal experience I would not recommend going to a school for the blind and visually impaired. Ive been educated in both Mainstream schools and two RNIB (Royal National Institute for the Blind) schools and I preffered mainstream. I found people in the RNIB schools had serious "chip" on thier shoulders and some had extrememly warped sense of the "real world" and acted like it owed them something. Im not saying rule it out completely as its personal preference and it may well be the right type of education for him at the right time of his life but try as much as you can to keep talking to him about his opinions and ideas and makr him feel that his opinions are valid and welcomed.

well, my opinion on the blind school issue,

I do recommend going to a blind school in the beginning to learn blind and visually impaired related skills, like independant living and mobility training,

but I agree about people at Blind schools having a "chip on their shoulders" like the world owed them something. Thats why I left there in the 10th grade.

unfortuntely, what tends to happen in mainstream schools, is teachers don't understand how to teach a kid who is blind or visually impaired, due to blackboard issues. They don't understand about note takers, CCTV's, braille, things of that nature, so I agree with what your saying from a social point of view, but from an educational point of view, a person can excel in school so much better if they attend a blind school starting out.