I joke a lot on posts. I guess it's my way of coping with my issues-comedy in tragedy. But ... i swear it really sucks not knowing your sexuality. What's worse is that I'm probably the epitome of introversion when it comes to real life. Outside of the internet world...i tell no one, nothing. I'm already the black sheep of the family. And theyre so conservative that I have no doubt in my mind that they'd burn me at the stake if they ever found out that I'm attracted to women.
But am I a lesbian? I'm also attracted to men. Am I straight? Bi? How can I ever find out if Im afraid to open up to people in the way that I do here? I can't. It scares me to open up. It has always ended up in heartbreak for me. *sigh* this sucks. I'm not sexually frustrated. I've got reaaallly low self-esteem and I know that until I learn to love myself, i'll never be able to let anyone love me. I just wanna know who I am. How can I love myself...how can anyone love anyone without knowing what they're about?
Damn I'm so confused. I hope this made sense. I'd appreciate anyone's two cents on this. Thank you.