Have you ever felt a bit paranoid about your sexuality? Do you ever wonder if people can just tell that you're bi? Or that people say or do things to see how you will react in order to find out which team you play for? Do you ever find yourself trying to compensate for your sexuality, like trying to be as "normal" as possible?
I find myself doing all of these things. I admit I'm a little paranoid. There's a lady that I work with whose rather playful with me. Just out of fun we talk "smack" to each other. So the other day I jokingly told her that we have an abusive relationship and she said "No, it's not abusive, just physical." We're not actually physical we just talk junk to each other so my mind went into left field on this. I started to wonder if she meant something else by that. Was she trying to suggest something? If so, why and what? Maybe she said it just to see how I would react. Maybe she thinks I'm gay and is trying to draw me out. My mind just gets to spinning. She probably meant nothing by it but sometimes I wonder if being bisexual is causing me to have this "double" mind; comments seem to have hidden meanings, I suspect people to have hidden agendas. Or maybe it's just a side effect of having to hide who I really am that I think other people are hiding a lot too. I don't know, what do you think?