I started really questioning my sexuality when I was about 20 years old. Looking back on it now at the ripe old age of 30, I probably knew I was at least bicurious when I was about 14 My family's conservative christian background caused me to not see this as acceptable. I put my feelings on hold for a long time and thought "if I'm bi, it's easier just to date guys." I started dating my best friend when I was 19 and fell in love with him. We got engaged when we were 23 and go married when we were 25. I recall him saying that he always felt like my favorite cousin as I have always been sexually insecure and inhibited. Now I realize I am probably more sexually attracted to females than males, but due to a lack of sexual experiences with females I'm not really sure. I kissed a girl, but that pretty much sums up my bisexual experience. I feel a lack of sexual attraction to my husband despite a very strong love/emotional connection. My husband is ok with me experimenting sexually with females but I don't know that I can be sexual with a female without having a strong emotional connection first. I'm basically afraid to fall in love with a female and fear loosing my best friend.
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