I went recently with like 80 hours without sleep. Consider this an update:
Friday went to the doc and got sleeping meds which were hypnotics and did what they were meant for, felt relaxed, cats had a field day on my head. Still NO sleep. Saturday against my better judgement I drove to see my pd and he wanted to commit me and put me on seroquel. That wasn't gonna happen despite shaking like a junkie and crying my eyes out.
Instead, I rmemebered he wrote a script for klonopin and cashed that in. 3pm to 5pm slept well. Slept pretty good that night. Monday too. Monday afternoon I was having a nap and woke up and right in front of me were two police officers and two social workers my pdoc called to commit me. Needless to say having these people break into my home at 3:30pm when the little kids were coming up did nothing to uplift my mood but I got cuffed behind the back and taken to t he hospital. Took a while to book me in, finally got jammies and slippers and when their attention was elsewhere I ran for it. Made it about 3/4 of a mile from home before some kind lady offered to help me. Unfortunately 2 cops pulled right up behind her and wanted to know if I was John Doe and what exactly did I think I was doing. Told them pretty explicitly and was thrown in the back of the cop car.
I went on a hunger/water/sleep strike in hospital cells, childish yes but I had to regain some control. Kept the mattress over top and made a little nest out of it. Started to think I could make a noose with all the loose straps and did exactly that, tried hanging myself (3rd failed suicide attempt that month) off the water button in the cell toilet. Was told I could do it the easy way, hand over the cord, or the hard way and have the cops come and do it. Chose the hard way. Long story short I was drugged, strapped like i was gonna be crucified and basically left there to work it out myself.
Happy ending. I'm on a overnight pass, gonna watch the UFC tonight. Get along great with the nurses there and feel progress is being made. One problem I still have is an inability to relax. Can't sit and have my coffee like everyone else, have to start cleaning the kitchen which isn't even in the residents list of jobs. Was offered clothes days ago but refused, bit of a control issue i think., didn't want them to think it was the be all and end all. One other complaint, is there such a thing as pj's with crotches? all the pj bottoms there have draw strings and 9/10's of the time I'm hanging out and trust me I'm no John Holmes.
Should be home in a week or 2 and have a feeling it will be particularly hard to leave this time. I actually have a life and identity for the first time in decades that i can live with. If only they'd let me live with it.