Okay, I'm new here and I came here because I honestly need help dealing with this stupid disorder. A few monthes ago I nearly comitted and had a serious breakdown, but after I was put on Lamictal and Concerta it started to level off. And now I'm right back where I started. This last Friday I had my first breakdown, and I was forced to skip from 150mg to 200mg on Lamictal on my supposed 2nd day of taking the 150mg(I took the wrong one on a trip). So then that night in a concert with the group I was with, everything bad in my life hit me all at once. I wanted to run, yet stay. Fight collided with flight so I stayed in my chair, though physically as far on the edge of my seat fro everyone else I could be. and I started crying in silence and turned the other direction so noone would notice. I wanted to run, but I couldn't knowing that if I did everyone would see me and know something was wrong(none of them know I'm bipolar). Then the day before yesterday I had another breakdown where I wanted to cut myself and run away. I got the same halfway run-stay response. But then yesterday it was probably the worst hysterical breakdown I've ever had. I wanted to get a knife and kill myself but I didn't even have the strength to breathe, let alone move. What should I do?
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