Hi there. New user, first time posting.
I was diagnosed with bipolar back in June. I took Depakote for 5 months and ended up only gaining some weight and getting tremors. I've quit all medication for a few months and feel like it might be better for me to get treatment, but I'm really skeptical of doctors' ability to help me.
I feel constantly overwhelmed by psychological suffering even though I am aware of all that I have to be grateful for in life. I was able to leave a rough place in one city to move home with my parents. I have a job that helps pay for school while I go part-time. I have a car. I'm fit and still young. I have lots to be happy about.
Yet I feel like shit. Constantly. My regrets hurt so much. I've made so many mistakes and truly hurt people, so I don't feel like I have the right to hurt. I want to get over myself, but I'm unable to. I need to, though, if I want to stay alive. If I can't take responsibility for myself, my pain will become someone else's. I'm not handling this properly. I would like any advice from others who suffer with this impairment.
Every fiber of my being craves clear, never-changing certainty, complete with clear, concise reasons why, global positioning systems (GPS) and road maps to the future. Absolute knowledge is my intellectual heart's desire. Unfortunately, the craving seems to lead me to far more crash and burns than Universal Truths.Wondering if it's okay that I *simply* don't know and to find my joy in turning the...
Long story short for thsoe who don't recall me/didn'tmeet me. My dad and sis started abusing me when I wa sso young that I can't say I have a "pre-trauma" life.When I was 13 my dad was dx'd with something that might could eventually kill him if he wasn't smart. He wasn't. ELEVEN years of that disease running our life --- of him runing our lives --- he died. It was the entirely worst period of my...