you can't have a productive life of any help to anyone else unless you first help yourself. giving up your meds wont be helping yourself which means you cant be productive in your marriage.
if your spouse can not understand this then mabye they need some time to step back and look at how well you function on meds and see how well you do.

thanks for answering that just it been on all kinds of meds still feel like crazy person still have outburst and now been told I've got to loose the weight because thats why he dont have anything to do with me in over 1yr

the weight is really a bad problem (side effect). and then depending on your mood you can/cant get up and excercise and diet to try to take some off. it just really sucks.
Depakote made me gain 40 pounds over the past 9 years I'm off of it now but have only lost 10 and i am even drinking diet soda pop. I feel about the best I have in years but still can't get motivated to do the excercise like I know I should and need to.

Take care of yourself, mentally and emotionally and usually everythings else will fall in place. You can't lose weight quickly unless you do something that won't help you a bit, so don't worry about that.

Start by going home, if you are not there and making appointments and getting new meds. Remember it is your house also.

Don't grovel either, start by just trying to talk to him. If he won't talk to you he wont help you fix the marriage. So start with talk. Make no promises either......that is always my motto only because I have broken every promise in my life.

Then let us know what is happening. And remember you are asking for marriatal advice from a Bipolar Message Board.

Don't give up on the meds. You have to work with your Pdoc to find the right mix. Do you go to therapy?

Hi, going!!!!
I think that couple's therapy might be a much more productive way to go.
Problems in a marriage are rarely solved by only one person doing the changing.
While stopping the meds might seem like the best and fastest way to solve the situation, it is almost undoubtedly not so, and might likely make things worse.
It's so very hard to do, but try your best to step back and view the situation rationally, rather than emotionally.
This is a problem that you are both facing and overcoming it is best accomplished by the both of you coming together and approaching it as such.
A good therapist can often help in getting past the turmoil and unhappiness and in finding new, more productive ways of dealing with the situation.
Good luck to you both!!! I know from personal experience some of what you are going through and it is so very, very hurtful and heartbreaking.
Take care!!!

I know men are visual and need to have visual stimulation but it shouldnt mader if your fat skinny young old and wrinkly... most of the time anyway sex in marraige should be about love and reconnecting. Finding the right meds is hard.

Im now FAT and still crazy and cycle about once a week (a break from the daily stuff) but Im on meds and still looking for the right combo. My husband says as long as I am trying then thats all that matters. Even if I fail, even if Im fat. Yes he would like me to loose weight even if just to my lower weight when he met me which was still heavy. BUt that doesnt stop him from loving me. If your husband is distancing himself because of your out side and not accepting you on the inside then you need to have a chat with him. He needs to love you just as you are. And help you acheive goals you want to acheive. If you want to loose weight then he should be supportive of lifestyle changes even if it means he makes them too. Going for walks with you in the early evenings... changing the foods you eat, how you cook them.... you get the drift. If he wants to be your partner he will love you no matter what. My husband jokes that he is going to upgrade me when he can... I will say he is gonna leave me for a young hot chich (he is 10 years younger) and he replies heck no Ill just spend the money to give the one I love an upgrade... I would love a plastic surgeon to have his way with me lol...

Going off your meds totally will just add to your complete unstability and lack of control in positive judgement. If a med isnt working and causing weight gain then ask for a new med... there will be one out thre that will make it better

Weight gain as a side effect to the drugs we take is very common. I want to share some of the things I started doing that helped me loose over 30 pounds in the last year. It wont happen quickly, you didnt gain it quickly. 1. I drink half my body weight in ounces of water per day. When I started out I weighed 170 pounds so I drank 85 ounces of water a day. It really isnt as much as you think and it helps flush your kidneys and process the bi-waste from the food you eat. 2. I started eating more vegetables with my diet, especially lunch. My lunch consists of mainly vegetables. 3. I increased the amount of foods with protein and decreased the amount of foods with carbohydrates. 4. I stopped drinking anything with sugar or sweetner in it. It processes too quickly as fat. 5. I increased exercise, but not by much, I walk short distances every day. It helps bring me out of a funk. 6. daily, I eat a breakfast with protein, like eggs and ham or vegetable. Lunch consists of meat, cheese, and or vegetables. Dinner I eat anything, I just reduced my portions. I made myself very aware of what I was putting in my mouth. I didnt give up alot, I just reduced the amount of what I ate. You have many issues you are dealing with right now. Make a list and deal with them one at a time, in small bites. Prioritize the things you want to work on like, weight, marriage, meds, behavioral coping skills. The big picture is scary but small bites make the goal more attainable. If I can help you, please let me know. I have spent over 30 years dealing with all the aspects of this disorder and may be able to help. If you send me a message I can tell you how to reach me.