I know some of you have been depressed for months on end so I apologize in advance for my whining but I just went through a particularly bad episode and took off work for most of three weeks. I went back to work on Monday and have not yet put in a full 8 hours. I just get so stressed out. There's so much work to do and it only piles up when I leave. I want to stay home tomorrow where its nice and quiet and sit in front of the warm fire. I am working so hard at trying to get better. I am exercising (some) and not drinking or abusing xanax (33 days now) but I still feel so apathetic about life. Nothing brings me joy. Every day is drudgery. I did manage to shower today and even put on makeup. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I'm already planning in the back of my mind to reschedule meetings and stay home. I think I'd do it in a heartbeat if I didn't think DH would be mad at me. He has not yet realized just how much *unpaid* leave I'm taking. We're already in trouble financially and this isn't helping. However, if I overstress and have to take another extended "vacation" or go to the hospital it will only be worse. I have a nice job. I just want to go to work and enjoy doing it. *sighs* I don't guess I have a question or anything. Just venting.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??