Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I know some of you have been depressed for months on end so I apologize in advance for my whining but I just went through a particularly bad episode and took off work for most of three weeks. I went back to work on Monday and have not yet put in a full 8 hours. I just get so stressed out. There's so much work to do and it only piles up when I leave. I want to stay home tomorrow where its nice and quiet and sit in front of the warm fire. I am working so hard at trying to get better. I am exercising (some) and not drinking or abusing xanax (33 days now) but I still feel so apathetic about life. Nothing brings me joy. Every day is drudgery. I did manage to shower today and even put on makeup. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I'm already planning in the back of my mind to reschedule meetings and stay home. I think I'd do it in a heartbeat if I didn't think DH would be mad at me. He has not yet realized just how much *unpaid* leave I'm taking. We're already in trouble financially and this isn't helping. However, if I overstress and have to take another extended "vacation" or go to the hospital it will only be worse. I have a nice job. I just want to go to work and enjoy doing it. *sighs* I don't guess I have a question or anything. Just venting.
deleted_user
I understand how you feel, you have lost your passion, and feel like you are in a hole and the dirt is caving in on you. Maybe you need a different job, new seeting and a fresh start. Is that a possibility? Maybe ask for some help to get back on top of your workload, then that should ease some of your stress. Just a few ideas. :))
deleted_user
Why is it so hard for us to keep a job? I do that too... I get some of the best jobs a person could ask for, and after about three months *poof* I start getting "sick" and come up w/ a million reasons why i cant work. Then I go back renewed and then I quit. It really sucks. I would love to have an apartment someday, but until I get my BPD under control, I'm scared to try. When peeps take BP meds such as lithium or abilify does working come easier?
deleted_user
Talk to your doc about how your feeling. Maybe he can adjust your meds?
deleted_user
I know howyou feel i was a manager and eveything keep piling up and was hard but you just take it day by day don'y worry about next week ot it will get you dowm even more
deleted_user
Cherylann, pdoc did just adjust my meds about 3 weeks ago. He switched me from zoloft to effexor. They're afraid to give me to much for fear I'll get manic again. They want to give it time to work. In the meantime I'm just trudging through life...
deleted_user
Rosie, I have been asking for a *little* help but I need to ask for more I guess. Its not that I've lost my passion for my job. Its that I've lost my passion for everything. I haven't even been reading non-fiction lately - just books on bipolar disorder. Thanks for the ideas.
Marilyanna
If you have a job and you love it but have this crappy bp to deal with, make the day more fun for yourself. Bring balloons blow upand bounce them around the office, Find a low cal candy and share it with your group, If you work 8-5 make sure you eat a banana at 4 (cardinal rule), Hang stars from the light fixtures with paper clips. Change what you have on your desk whith whacky pictures. Put your self IN the looney bin so you dont have to go looking for the looney bin.
deleted_user
I've been off work for a month. Now I dread going back. I love my job; but I think I've gotten lazy. It's earier not to have to get dress and leave the house. It feels safe here . I don't have to fake it or hide how lousy I feel. I have good benefits, but I'm afraid if I stay off too long my coworkers will resent me when I do go back.
deleted_user
Dear Morgaine: I truly understand what you are going through. I can't laugh or even cry as I'm on such high doses of meds they blunt my emotions. I know this may seem like your deepest and darkest hour but one thing us BP's must be patient with is med changes. I used to take a new med for a week and if I didn't get instant relief would quit taking it and demand my pdoc give me something else to try. This too shall pass, your passion will return. Meanwhile live one day at a time, even the drudgery. Treat yourself nicely, sleep good nutrition and as much exercise as you can.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
