I wrote my hubby a long letter (in my journal it's posted) and the only thing he can do is tell me he loves me..(in the dark in bed..never looking at me). He told me last night that he doesn't trust or believe in me. He thinks i will just give up on my meds and on my therapy like I've given up on everything else. I've only been on them for a little over a week. I tried to make him understand how hurtful and distructful to my progress those statements are...because i start believeing them myself. Why even try? I need him now more than ever. Just to say "i'm here for you and im not going anywhere and I love you". Thats all I've asked of him. It must be too much. I guess I thought I was worth more than that. He holds my heart in his hands and he is crushing it...and I've told him that, and he really doesn't act like he cares. I feel like im out in the middle of the ocean..with the sharks closing in...and he holds the life preserver and he refuses to give it to me.
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