Just wrote out how I feel and it got deleted. It sums up how things have been lately. I doubt anyone will even read this. I just went to the useless GP, waited a whole hour just for him to say he wasnt going to bother ringing the crisis team because there was no point, it has happened before therefore I dont need any help. It's ok for me to hurt myself because I have before. He either thinks I'm not worth the effort or thinks I'm just some attention seeker. I'm not. Not in that sense. I'm just so close to cracking. So much has happened lately. First one of my close "friends" telling anyone who will listen what an attention seeker I am behind my back, and "forgetting" to tell me she was having a birthday party. So once again I'm the social reject that everyone gossips about. I dont know who I can trust anymore. I want to hurt myself. I dont want to admit it, but part of me wants to do more than that. Just stop all this stupid shit. Stop being me because I hate myself and the way people treat me and just toss me at the bottom of the heap. I'm just doing what nature intended. Survival of the fittest. Weakling little rejects like me aren't supposed to survive. I cant go to A&E (ER) because apparently it is a waste of their resources. And even if it wasnt then I couldnt because my family are home. I'm not going to do anything right now. But it's close and I know it.
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