YOU come first no matter what!
Thats what ive learned through all this. YOU and your health are more important than anything!

Do what is best for you...Its shape up or ship out I think...

I am considering moving out. Either it will be a wake up call or he'll just treat me like yesterday's news. I'm not sure how much I even care anymore...except I care about his well-being.

Its time to be concerned about yourself Ireland your worth it and you deserve it...

am i unreasonable to expect that he not work at a nightclub and stay out til 6 am 4 nights a week? when for 3 years he had a regular day job? and we could actually spend time together? and girls weren't constantly flirting and hugging all over him? honestly, i need opinions...my girlfriends say i am rightfully angry, my guy friends say give him a break...i am so sick of feeling like nothing to him.

I think that you are very valid in your feelings...I would cut my hubbys nuts off for such things...Love him to bits but where does flirting stop...

then he says "You don't trust me." Bullshit. He doesn't understand that it is disrespectful to flirt with people when he is married...I mean I know everyone flirts from time to time, I'm not stupid, but this is over the top. And I have witnessed girls flirting with him before, and what does he do? Encourages more of it. So what I don't trust is his ability or concern to tell them to shove off.

fair statement i say. I trust my hubby its the girls that I dont...

OMG!! CAN u just get out of that toxic relationship????

i don't know what to do. i love him, and i care about him, and i want this to work...but i am also sick of this treatment. he doesn't abuse me or cheat on me, but i still don't deserve this.

Im sorry Ireland but there is no way in hell I would allow my hubby to ever treat me like that. Where is the respect? He really needs to grow up. Im afraid to say you are enabling his behaviour, then he is throwing it back in your face, by blaming your BP!!! Bullshit he is trying to justify his bad behaviour, I would give him an altimatum, either he leave the job, or you will leave him. Put the ball in his court.JMO:))

Goodluck JR

I actually told him that tonite, and he of course turned it around on me. I guess it is time for me to move in with family and go to couples counseling.

Wait, it's your house, right? Kick him out. I'm kicking mine out. And we're still doing the counseling.

NOBODY deserves that.

it's his house, but i pay the mortgage b/c i am way better with finances. and apparently also stupid...hmmm maybe i won't send the check this month. i could do one really mean thing in my life if it is for a good cause-ME

Well, when I am remotely well, I am a big flirt. I cannot claim to know what your husband thinks/does, but when you're there for the flirting, every now and then (at the very least), he should involve you. Women flirting with your husband could easily be turned into a compliment to you.

I know, also, that jealousy is a bad, bad thing, whether it is deserved or not.

Also, try to de-escualte the situation. Unless you want him gone, it needs to settle down. He is probably intoxicated with this new lifestyle of his, and right or wrong, but you might not win when compared right now. Any guy would love working at a nightclub, and everyone loves to be flirted with, it's a great boost to the self esteem.

And yes, being bi-polar gets used against me often, many times my feelings are not a product of that. Know that it's the easy way out to say that you're bipolar.

These are not attacks, and I am not taking his side. Good luck.