Why can't I just MAKE myself...
I haven't been doing well as far as my depression goes, and I have been triggered by something that I know is no big deal to "normal people". I started my Bachelors in Psychology last week, and I learned that the learning format at UOP is through "learning teams". Which means I have to work with three other people on assignments and a final project for each class. (I'm stressing out just typing this, I want to cry) For my Associates, everything was independent. I LIKE IT THAT WAY!!!! When I learned about the method, I told myself that I could deal with it, despite the fact that it takes every bit of energy I have to interact with others...well, its week two now, and I am totally frustrated, and I can't just make myself "deal" with it. I know that I would feel negative, frustrated, depressed, and resentful that I have to count on others and have others count on me, and I really don't think I can handle it. I want to ENJOY my learning experience. I know that an outsider would think, "What's the big deal?", but I hope you all understand where I'm coming from. Would you suck it up, or go through the ordeal of finding another school and transferring, and dealing with student loan BS?
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I just want to put this out here and trying not to be controversial just sharing my experience. I was put on .5mg of Klonopin at age 24 when they discovered I had Mitral Valve Prolapse. I thought it was to keep my heart rythm in sync. Had no discussion..just told I would need to take it. About a year later I started having severe panic attacks and went to ER and they upped my klonopin to 1mg and...
yesterday and this morning I started 'amping up' energy wise - and started to have a lot of observationsabout life in general. I have been trying to keep busy - and have come close to writing a really detailedjournal about what I am noticing. But I guess in summary I have been feeling like I my energy is amping upand like I am untethered. My reaction is to just focus on real basics - and like...
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