I am really lost right now. I am incapacitated by BP. My life is uninspired. I am a liar to myself, an addict to many things, I cannot be what others want or do not have what they want. I am not sure who I am anymore. Is the my life simply the sum of defunct ideas and dreams and bad decissions. It feels like the sum of many bad events. If I didn't have my kids, I would be lost to the abyss. They are truely the only thing keeping me going. I love my wife so much, she is a angel but I cannot convey effectively my feelings and she is all worn out from me and BP. If I knew who I was, what defined me, I would at least have a direction. I feel like the boat in "the perfect storm" just getting tossed about with no port in sight. I guess I am feeling a little suicidle, tired, drained, beat and broken. Thanks
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