Here I am 1:25 a.m. and can't sleep, letting every little thing run through my head, blaming myself for recent events that are not possibly all one persons fault. I have been putting a lot of pressure and burden on myself and I just do not know how to stop! How can I take care of my family like this, how can I be a friend to my friends like this, how can I finish school and start a career being a stranger to myself. I want to make my marriage work; we have plans..so many plans. Were planning to try for another baby one day soon...how can I be a mommy again when I don't even like myself right now and I am not sure it will change anytime soon. I want to be as good a mommy to my babies as I can be..they need me like noone could. I want to be the kind of friend people are glad to have because they know they can trust and depend on me, not play a guessing game as to which personality they will get from me that day. I want to finish school and hopefully start my career as a Medical Administrative Assistant. I just want to be as normal a human being as you can be in this world, ne happy with the life God has given me and count my blessings instead of my flaws and faults. "Writing" this out is a great outlet for me but I have to do something, I don't know what, to help myself and not be dependent solely on other people, medicines, or any other common source of help for people in my situation. That is what we all probably want...to find that silver lining in all this gray
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...