Ok, so I went to my fertility doctor the other day. And to my surprise, he says he cant do anything for me if this next round of treatment does not work! Well that was all I needed to fall into a major breakdown, right in front of him. I guess I should start at the begining, right? I was involved in therapy for 10+ years up until 3 years ago. My therapist's office was shut down due to some behaviors of a different therapist. I lost my therapist and went off all meds cold turkey. I thought I was doing great, I went back to school, I found a great guy, I had a job and a car. Than came the blow of a lifetime. I cant get pregnant. Well we went through hormone therapies, and in Nov/07 I had surgery to remove my right ovary/tube. I feel so alone in this because my friends ALL have kids, I cant give my husband a child, I feel incomplete. I have been depressed and I went into complete mania and chopped off all my hair and went on a drinking binge about 2 weeks ago. I feel so alone and out of control of my own life! I want it all to just come to an end. So I ask, when do we know enough is enough? I cant do this anymore. My fake smile is fading, fast.
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