I dont know how to feel right anymore... even being on my meds im still up and down and all around.. from day to day feels ok and then just like that it will hit me to wow im thinking bad again... like i was thinking hmm maybe ill just leave him hmm maybe i wont maybe hes looking for a different gf maybe hes not why would he want to be with me im just a kid whos 23 and hes 30 he can do so much better then me and ill tell him this stuff too and hes like i dont want anyone else ur the one i want to be with i like the way u make me smile and its like ya ok WHATEVER ur just sayin that to make me feel better but i mean why would he be saying that just to make me feel better i mean whats in it for him nothing so maybe he really is telling me the truth after all... GR i dont know anything anymore i hate my life i hate the way i think i hate everything... why cant i be normal..?
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