I am at the stage where I'm completely consumed by the blanket of mental illness.
I try not to think about it, but it's always there.


At least I'm past denial.

I'm not particularly ill at the moment, yet remain wary as I learnt the hard way that this illness can totally blindside you...It doesn't hurt as much now, surveying the damage wrought by it all, I guess I've made my peace & am grateful for the ground, the sanity regained.

I am at a stage in my life whee I wake up eveyday and am glad that I did...I take pleasure in the simple things in life...Im actually happy with life, love and where I am at the moment...It has been hrd work but worth evey second of it even though at times I have wanted to give up lie down and die...But there isnt a day that goes by that I dont marvel at how far I have come..

Well, it was crap for a long time too.
I find it puzzling how I reflect with my now sane(r) mind.
So that means, even the ability to look back and see things exactly how they were is denied me.
Cos you can't look back with the same shot-up mind you had then

Well as you have already read Im in a place that is unfamilar to me. I have an odd calm over me yet I feel I can tackle anything and actually want to. I am still struggling to define if I am manic or depressed as for many years there has been no middle, at least not one where I wasnt blah or a vegitable. I still am walking around waiting for that Simi truck to run me over... and then back up and do it again...

For the first time ever some one asked me if my meds were actually helping me and I replied.... "Yes I truely think they are... its worth the effort"

I've been diagnosed for many years now. Currently I'm in the nightmare stage. I wake up every day hoping it was all just a bad dream. Then my meds stare me in the face reminding me it wasnt. Oh well.

I am still lost...I'm not even sure if I'm past denial. I am confused. I don't know where to go or who to talk to. Some days I feel like the medicine is all helping. Then, nights like these come about and the darkness envelops me. Yep, I am still lost. Anybody got a flashlight?

Plenty here.

hey grand... it is nite if you take off the sun glasses you might see better ;p

giggle

Hugs
buggie

*steals flashlight from pluck, tries to turn it on, DARN batteries are dead...it figures...so, tries to take off sunglasses...ahh! someone glued them to my head...*

i am beyond all hope, aren't I?

Creative though.

lol, thanks

Chuckle !

I'm at the stage where I have realized the magnitude of this whole bp thing and although I wouldn't say it totally consumes me and my days, but it's still too prominent in my day-to-day life and I would like for that to change. I look forward to it fading into the background and my life taking centre stage once again.

I am currently in denial. I'm seeking a third opinion in the next couple weeks with another pdoc. I don't want this nightmare on me!