I've been experencing really drastic highs and lows. I'm not sleeping so then i'm really tiered in the morning and i JUST CANT function. and i spend the whole day paranoid that someones watching me. But i find myself just being manic all day LONG. shopping spending any bit of money i got. by the time the evening comes i'm so damn depressed that i can't even bare to deal with my daughter. SHE"S only 2 i feel like i'm holding my breath till she goes to bed so that the pressure of her demands get releaved. But as soon as i try to go to bed it feels like my mind is on a speedway speeding so fast i can't even see what is going on. I'm getting scared because now when i'm laying there it's like a rush of addrenalin is rushing threw me and I feel jittery all over and it won't go away till I smoke a cigarret and I DON'T smoke. never did till now and it only takes half a ciggarete to make me light headed enoph to go to bed and MAYBE an hour later i'll get to sleep. THIS IS MY LIFE EVERY GOD DAMN DAY! why?
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