I was diagnosed with bp about a year ago which really only gave an explanation as to why I've been so f*ked up most of my life. I'm also an alcoholic and God that is even harder to say then that I'm bp. My problem is a I drink. When I drink the meds don't work (or so I'm told). when the meds don't work I get depressed or manic, whatever the flavor of the day is, which makes me want to drink. I realize I have to stop drinking and have made a committment to myself to do that starting this minute. But will I recognize normality when I see it? I have no idea what it feels like. Will I be able to handle it? I'm so used to the ups and downs, how will I react when all is level. Been having a bad episode lately. On the verge of losing my job (again)and just feel like nothing is good in my life.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...