I was diagnosed with bp about a year ago which really only gave an explanation as to why I've been so f*ked up most of my life. I'm also an alcoholic and God that is even harder to say then that I'm bp. My problem is a I drink. When I drink the meds don't work (or so I'm told). when the meds don't work I get depressed or manic, whatever the flavor of the day is, which makes me want to drink. I realize I have to stop drinking and have made a committment to myself to do that starting this minute. But will I recognize normality when I see it? I have no idea what it feels like. Will I be able to handle it? I'm so used to the ups and downs, how will I react when all is level. Been having a bad episode lately. On the verge of losing my job (again)and just feel like nothing is good in my life.
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