I been there once during a manic episode, and twice during depressive episodes.

It was the best place for me.

When I light about 100 candles in a flat full of papers with the answers to the Universe's
Puzzles..in rhymes and songs scrawled.
Bathroom door open.Lying in a bath full of lukewarm water.music blaring.

That's the first bit...

do you freak out. I have freaked out so many times that I am surprised nomeone never did call the cops on me

Have you ever seen The Bill ?

no, is that a movie?

I love The Bill.

More than life itself.

Which probably isn't saying much.

There is always some moron interferring with my suicide attempt throwing me in his car and rushing to the hospital. I DO NOT appreciate waking up in ICU, tubes in my nose and mouth (and god knows where else) and finding my arms strapped down and mittens on my hands (so I don't ruin my manicure? What the hell is that all about?) Are they kidding? What am I going to do at that point, strange myself?

It's a police drama.When yr that manic...I look at the police around me and they all look like actors.

I held an impromptu seminar/conference in a Hotel lobby in London.I had a bagful of stuff.
I think it was on The Abuse Of Words.Saying abuse starts with words etc.
I looked around and the tables around me had lots of my crap stuff on.I'd 'displayed' it all.labels etc.I remember a toy attached to a coat hanger by a noose ! Haha.
The hotel manager came and to his credit, didn't call the police.Just decided to kick me out.
I then walked barefoot to the next victims.haha. I was in a Summer Vest and Shorts too !

I get hospitalized several times a year (and honestly, I'm pretty functional, not including being hospitalized several times a year). I have a very predictable mood cycle, and during the four times a year I get WAY nuts, I try my best to handle it on my own, but sometimes it's just too out of control to try at home. I go in for some rapid serious med shifts and to keep me from (for example) driving to Mexico without telling anyone and not coming back for a year, or bankrupting myself buying hats, or trying to fly (a rare one), or when I can't sit up and lie in bed catatonic for a little too long. It's just a medical neccessity for mechemistry needs adjustment, I need to be safe, I'm free to be whacked for a little while. I'm used to it. It also really sucks.

Mine usually start with razor blades and bloodletting......

1st Breakdown:
I wasn't around long enough for them to make a diagnosis.
Went in on Friday and out on Sunday.
I remember crying endlessly and driving everyone in the ward insane.
Left the hospital against doc orders [they always want you to stay the full 30 days no matter how you feel and they don't attend to your needs very quickly because they want to drain your testicles dry whether you have them or not.]
*I went because I was emotionally falling apart. It was during my finals in college and I had way to much stress.
------
2nd hospitalizatoin:
Diagnosed
Medicated
Stabilized

I've been in too many times... 8 total. 5 times in the first year I was dx and the other 3 spread out. But, for me, I've always been in a suicidal depression and check in prior to doing anythng -- because of my fathers suicide it's totally real for me...and I fully understand the impact on the kids.

I've dealt with extreme rapid cycling while inpatient too.

Extreme mania that leads to psychosis and suicide attempts have put me in. Also, cutting..self mutilation. Anything, really, that demands a quick med change and supervision. At times I have wanted to go away because I was loosing it, too stressed out to handle what was going on around me...any time I would come right out and tell my doc I wanted to go to the hospital, he wouldn't put me in, but he would change my meds and have me come in every couple of weeks. So, I guess needing a break cause I'm flipping out wasn't good enough for a hospital stay.

The one time I was hospitalized (recently too) It was for my panic attacks and mixed state. I had lost the hope of mental health care as I couldnt afford it and was told I didnt qualify for state help. I had been having 5+ panic attacks a week on top of the general anxiety. I get very unsafe and end up in traffic walking/driving or worse... I become a danger to myself and others.

I think if I was to be hospitalized again the catalist would be a panic attack or the fear of one... like I was nearly hospitalized a month ago because I had ideations of sitting in the middle of the intersection and just waiting for someone to come along and pick me up and help me... I couldnt handle everything in my brain any more. But the place I would have gone wouldnt have been much help and I saw my pdoc the next day and we adjusted my meds which is what the hospital would have done anyhow...

Ultimately it is usually linked to me being in a mixed state and having a trigger that sets off a panic attack

my boyfriend