I've been struggling for the past almost 4 years loosing 3 Beloved friends I met her on DS. The last year, has just been horrible and I've not really recovered from their loss and supportive love they all gave to me. Then ill health for myself and for my son. I came unglued and felt, and still do feel lost in the jungle of life. I'm trying to find my way through the forest to find some light at the end of the tunnel. So many times for so many years, each time going down into the worm hole makes my ability to climb out seem beyond the energy or desire needed to breathe in the oxygen of life.
I think I feel guilt and shame around not doing what I know I can do, those feelings are the basis of my depressive and negative self talk. Some have said stop being so hard on yourself, well maybe I need to be a bit softer, but not a marshmellow. Marshmellows are yummy, but we all know where they end up....mushy, in flames, or golden brown, more times than not, eat too many and get sick. Below is a way for me to make a start. What I write is what I will do as I don't want to lie or to havel somewho who might read think I'm a go getter. I'll be starting my day in the morning and if It Takes All Day and Into The Night, my three goals for tomorrow will be completed. If not completed I will write that too, and continue until all is completed.
My stepfather once said to me, in order to be happy you need some one to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. In what do you want, I say do three things period, to make me love me, something to do, and when done something to look forward to.
Unbelievable.There was a knock on my front door this morning and as I assumed it was either the mail woman or my oil delivery man I went down unconcerned, opened the door wide with a smile and he walked past me and was in my sitting room checking my chimney before I could even register that it was the guy who had terrified me a couple of weeks ago. He told me he had cleaned my gutters at the back...
My friend died early this morning. I have been visiting her on a different floors at the same hospital I was in than when I was discharged I would visit daily. Last night I knew it wouldn't be long until she was gone. The good part was lots and lots of people were coming in and out it was like grand central station, the best part was it was nothing but laughter and love. The reason why I'm...