Ok, I accept that I am bipolar, but I hate it. I'm now taking drugs (lithium, lamictal, xanex) that are supposed to control something, but I can't decide if it's worth it. I feel slow and thirsty, and I really fear that they just aren't going to work. It's the mania I fear. When I get manic, all bets are off, and bad things tend to happen. But when I am manic I love it. And I just have no way of knowing how that is going to work out. I just don't want to be messed up to the point of danger (or commital) again. Yet I don't know if these drugs are going to fix that, or just subdue me until that point. . . So, What the fuck do I do now?
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